Climate change? Pfft. Forget about it! The real danger comes from African gangs... and gender-neutral toilets... and asylum seekers... and those terrifying electric cars!
Breaking news: Labor won't be taking any more money stuffed in Aldi bags.
Keen to get to the bottom of the leadership coup that topped Malcolm Turnbull but can't be bothered reading a whole book? Well now you don't have to!
A close analysis of Labor's most recent manoeuvres proves they are still as much in opposition as they ever were!
Luckily for Australia, prominent Nationals have risen to the task of fixing the ABC.
Gone but unfortunately not forgotten, Tony Abbott still has a few options in his eternal mission to remain irritatingly close to the centre of public imagination.
Over a hot cup of marshmallows, the glistening Labor leader tells all about loving to pull miners out of mines and on the fair distribution of goes.
It's been a stupid election campaign so far and all signs point to it getting stupider.
Ita plans, inter alia, to replace all existing weekend programming with Midsomer Murders.