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Lorin Clarke

Freelance writer

Legally Binding: a set of guidelines for disparaging another person's child

Legally Binding: a set of guidelines for disparaging another person's child

Crikey presents further amendments to The Social Contract, care of writer, broadcaster, and legal expert Lorin Clarke.

Legally Binding: your pass-agg workplace kitchen notes will not go unpunished

Legally Binding: your pass-agg workplace kitchen notes will not go unpunished

Kitchen notes decrying the state of dirty dishes will now be considered greater crimes than the dishes themselves (and other important amendments to The Social Contract).

Legally Binding: regarding your excruciating social media usage

Legally Binding: regarding your excruciating social media usage

You will hereby cease posting comments with the words “Have not read the whole article but …” (and other important amendments to The Social Contract)

Legally Binding: regarding your awful children

Legally Binding: regarding your awful children

Referring to a child as "Mr Two" or "Miss Seven" may now result in said child being removed from your care (and other important amendments to The Social Contract).

Legally Binding: playing Christmas carols in shopping centres now punishable by death

Legally Binding: playing Christmas carols in shopping centres now punishable by death

A public interest endeavour dedicated to the ongoing improvement of The Social Contract.

Legally Binding: it is now an offence to leave angry notes on drivers' windscreens

Legally Binding: it is now an offence to leave angry notes on drivers' windscreens

Also, a car park located on public land that happens to be outside the front of your property is not "your" car park.

Legally Binding: a controversial new points-based system to manage romantic relationships

Legally Binding: a controversial new points-based system to manage romantic relationships

A public interest endeavour dedicated to the ongoing improvement of The Social Contract.

Legally Binding: the official rules for binge watching TV

Legally Binding: the official rules for binge watching TV

Including a special update on "Kardashian hours" versus regular hours.

Legally Binding: people who eat hot chips on public transport must be brought to justice

Legally Binding: people who eat hot chips on public transport must be brought to justice

Eating hot chips on the train is a serious breach of etiquette, as writer, broadcaster and legal expert Lorin Clarke explains in this amendment to the Social Contract.

The Social Contract: important amendments to modern manners

The Social Contract: important amendments to modern manners

Crikey presents some vital amendments to the Social Contract.