(Image: Private Media/Tom Red)

Clive Palmer’s new friend Craig Kelly is a spammer. He has sent out a huge volume of spam texts to randomly selected phone numbers, harassing people with pleas to join Palmer’s Potemkin village of a political party.

Under the gloriously named Spam Act 2003, someone can’t send you an advertising or promotional text message unless they have your permission, they provide contact details and a way to block any further texts.

Oh, except that political parties exempted themselves from the act. Just like they exempted themselves from the do not call register for spam phone calls.

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Indeed, political parties have given themselves a pass for anything to do with infringing your privacy or your rights to live without being harassed. They’re not even subject to basic privacy laws, which is why they have detailed profiles on every single voter, and you’re not allowed to see what they have about you or how they use it.

But back to Kelly. You could of course return the favour. You can call his Sydney office on (02) 9521 6262 and ask his office, politely, to stop spamming you (remember the appalling allegations made about working in Kelly’s office — please be nice to his staff).

You can call his Canberra office as well, if anyone’s picking up there, on (02) 6277 4366. And if you still have a fax, you can fax him on (02) 9545 0927. Some people might be cruel enough to suggest that you do the old black paper loop trick — get a long sheet of black paper, or stick together some sheets, and feed it into your fax, then tape the ends so it becomes a permanent black loop going around, and fax him that for a few hours. But the Commonwealth is paying for his toner supplies so you’d really only be hurting yourself.

But since Kelly is spamming people’s mobiles, why not call his mobile on 0458 150 211? Your short messages will, conveniently, be sent to him as a text — or you can text him directly.

Or here’s another idea. Why not become a member of UAP? You can either sign up a completely fabricated identity (or someone you hate), or sign up yourself. Who’s up for a mass act of political trolling whereby lots of people join a far-right party of wingnuts and anti-vaxxers and then disrupt it from within?

If people don’t want to join mainstream political parties any more, why not join a party ironically, for the shits and giggles, for the pleasure of making the lives of Kelly and Palmer just a little more difficult? Every time they boast of rising memberships, you’ll know it’s rubbish, because you’re one of them.

Time to hack Kelly and the UAP. Oh, and don’t forget to text or call Kelly and say hi.

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Peter Fray
Peter Fray
Editor-in-chief of Crikey
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