(Image: Private Media/Tom Red)

The Olympic Games thrive on tradition. One of the most enduring is demonstration sport, a golden opportunity for the host nation to slip in a few new homegrown shoo-in events.

With the Brisbane Olympics in the bag, Crikey satirist Tom Red has a few suggestions based on our current strengths.

Figure skating

Not to be confused with the Winter Olympics event, this contest pits the world’s best economic dissemblers against each other. Using dodgy modelling, irrelevant comparisons and wildly optimistic projections, opponents attempt to prove that this Olympics, finally, will be the one that breaks even.