(Image: Private Media)

As reality TV fans try to process the comet-like arrival — and departure — of UK macho mouth Katie Hopkins, the industry is abuzz with talk of possible replacements for her now-vacated spot on Big Brother. The prerequisites for the role appear to be impeccable credentials in attracting controversy, shameless self-promotion, capacity to polarise people regardless of issue, and a strong record of hot takes. 

As many wags have pointed out, Australia is not exactly short of suitable candidates, so Crikey has whittled the competition down to this shortlist.

Gerry Harvey, retail giant


  • Could organise a shedload of foot spas and air fryers for the house, at cost 
  • If JobKeeper returned, he wouldn’t be able to scam it from inside the house.


  • In confinement, his faux folksy, can-do manner and constant horse-breeding talk could pose a mental health risk for other housemates. 

Scott Morrison, prime minister


  • 24/7 camera surveillance in the Big Brother house would make it impossible for the PM to disappear at the first sign of trouble
  • Long years as immigration minister tick all the right anti-immigration buttons.


  • When we finally become exasperated over his vaccine failures and pick up our pitchforks he would be safe and sound inside the Big Brother house. 

Amanda Stoker, senator


  • Just as polarising as Katie Hopkins, but with a self-righteous, churchy vibe that would test the mettle of all housemates and make great TV
  • Smiles sweetly while doing dark deeds, a killer app in the Big Brother universe.


  • None. Good call for the show and the nation.

Blair Cottrell (far-right extremist)


  • Long history of racist, homophobic and unhinged comments
  • Not unfamiliar with incarceration
  • Tattoos.


  • Years on bodybuilding “supplements” means there would be a risk of a deadly cardiovascular event on live television.

Prue MacSween (Sky News commentator)


  • While lacking the natural bombast and intellectual shapeshifting of Hopkins, rent-a-quote McSween can always be relied upon to say something ill-considered and offensive
  • Diary not full.


  • The collective IQ of Sky after dark would fall in her absence. A bit.