Rosie Batty, Kim Carr and Sally McManus (Images: AAP)

Scotty From Marketing doesn't know how many Chinas there are that we will be going to war with; it is now sometimes illegal to be Australian; an election may be looming and Labor is up for the challenge... of having the mother of all preselection fights and factional brawls.

Yes, it's that's time again...

The action is all in Victoria, as always. Factions of the left and right calling themselves "Socialist Left" and "Labor Unity" have signed a new "stability pact", part of a process of minimising internal conflict for the gruelling year ahead. How stable? Well, unions and microfactions locked out of it went to court in Melbourne yesterday, to challenge the deal's first fruit, a fast-track preselection for the new safe seat of Hawke. The selection of yet another bloke for the gig has prompted a pushback from Labor women's groups, a principled rallying cry for equality organised by, erm, the sub-faction that didn't get a look in on the new deal. Confused? You won't be... actually, you still will be... How did we get here again?