For a lot of men, the recent revelations of sexual harassment have come as a surprise. Not so much for women who have experienced sexual violence and discrimination since childhood, puberty and beyond.
To illustrate this point, Crikey asked three high-school-aged girls to share examples of sexual harassment they’ve experienced in recent days, months and years.
At a high school in Sydney, aged 16: “A boy in the year above approached me around 8.30 in the morning and asked me for pictures of my feet. I told him it was inappropriate and he walked away.”
On Instagram, aged 16: “I got sent a message saying, ‘You looking for a sugar daddy to take care of your needs and spoil you financially without any sexual activity and pay you weekly allowance’.”
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At a park in Sydney, aged 12: “A group of older boys threw rocks at me and my younger sister. We were really scared.”
On Instagram, aged 13: “An old man from India told me he’d pay for our wedding if I agreed to marry him. I was scared that he would find me even if I deleted the message.”
On Instagram, aged 15: “A man asked me to be his ‘sugar baby’ and to give me $7000 a week via PayPal. He said: ‘I was glancing through profiles when I saw your profile so pretty … my interest has been piqued so I thought I should contact you.'”
At a high school in Sydney, aged 15: “A bunch of boys walked up to us at recess and told us we all had ‘dicks drawn on our foreheads’.”
On Instagram, aged 13: “An old man offered me $4000 if I would FaceTime him. I was scared and deleted the message.”
Sydney CBD, aged 17: “We were catcalled and yelled at when walking through the city with a group of friends at night by a man on the other side of the street who yelled ‘damn!'”
At a high school in Sydney, aged 15: “While running during PE class, a group of 10-15 boys jeered at us girls running, making ‘bouncing’ sounds and air groping their own chests. A teacher told them to stop once, but the boys continued.”
On chat website Omegle, aged 15: “My girlfriend and I looked at this website that everyone was using that connects you to random people. An older guy asked us for photos of our feet for $200. It wasn’t anything sexual for us, so we did it and he put $200 in a PayPal account. It felt like it was a bit creepy so we didn’t do it again, but I would if I needed the money.”
On Instagram, aged 16: “An older man offered me $1000 if I would send him my school shoes. I didn’t do it because I needed my school shoes.”
On Instagram, aged 17: “A guy asked me if I would sell my clothes for $1000. There are so many examples [of] being offered money for ‘companionship’ or because I’m pretty. They say [there’ll be] no sex.”
At a high school in Sydney, aged 14: “A classmate called me a ‘gorilla’ at lunch [for my body hair].”
If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault or violence, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit 1800RESPECT.org.au.
Survivors of abuse can find support by calling Bravehearts at 1800 272 831 or the Blue Knot Foundation at 1300 657 380. The Kids Helpline is 1800 55 1800.
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FB/Instagram/Whatsapp etc are out of control; they should be shutdown now.
Yep sad that nothing much has changed since I was young. I was rated on the clothes I was wearing by the boys at high school. Another time I was also cat called and harassed just walking down the street to buy an ice cream – I’d deliberately worn daggy clothing and a big hat to try to avoid exactly that. I chose a different path home but the same group of men followed me and continued to harass me most of my way home. I was humiliated, embarrassed and terrified.
I am sorry you had to go through that.
Also, nothing reduces young women to livestock like an effing rating system. How about schools join us in the 21st century and stamp that sh*t out.
Most men are titstarers, so next time you find yourself doing it please realise that you are part of the problem and sort yourself out. Men casually scare women and think it’s normal. Weak men do it. It’s a sign of weakness.
When out with my 16 year old daughter, I often have to stare down men who think it’s ok to leer at her as we walk past. Usually these perverts are with their partners and young children, and don’t like it when I challenge them with a ‘you right mate?’ Pathetic.
Gross
The proceedings of the ill-mannered suffices for news at Cky; most disappointing. From the sample, what proportion received complements or would that question ruin the indulgent thesis.
Glance at DH’s. “The Rainbow” for an insight into aberrant school boy behaviour; Potter’s “The Singing Detective” come to that. Perhaps it all begins at home!
Perhaps… but maybe ‘home’ is informed by the cultural standards within which the home is housed.
Rather than snide sniping at Cky, any chance you can contribute something of value to this much needed and long overdue public discussion?
I have made numerous, unsentimental, albeit measurable policy recommendations. It is the “poor bugger me” mentality and the cherry-picking (e.g. this article) that serve no long term purpose.
Taking Allan’s “Irrational Man” as a datum those who persist in irrational actions will be subjected to anything from DV to substance abuse to gambling etc.
(1) become familiar with the Classics (or the Greats). A few Greek or Roman plays would be a start. (2) Read Rousseau or de Tocqueville (different but, at a stretch, similar) and perhaps Rawls. (4) Reflect upon the last five Commandments or Peterson’s dozen rules. (5) Do the right thing (only) for the right reason. As Lê Carrie put it in Russia House : (6) try to be a decent human being.
Reflecting on Peterson’s work is an excellent suggestion. However, he is considered by most on the left to be the devil incarnate – imagine even suggesting that people take responsibility for their actions…..let’s just lock the professor up for such a ‘wrong thinking’ statement.
Speaking of which, I’m puzzled as to how ‘Omegle’ in above article, as well at the authors, can seriously categorise that experience ‘sexual harassment’?
She and her 15yo girlfriend voluntarily entered a website that ‘connects you to random people’. They then collected $200 via PayPal for forwarding photos of their feet – ‘it wasn’t anything sexual for us – and (I would do it again) if I needed the money’.
Sexual harassment? Laughed till I cried….
Decades ago I went through an interval of sharing houses with social workers. Given what they conveyed, anonymously, I can’t think of one situation where the contributional negligence was less than 50% and in 90%+ cases the initial motivation was revenge. I doubt if it is different now.
The sheer cog-diz is beyond risible – who was the victim and who came out $200 richer and happy to do the same again?
Reading these comments just brought back a flood of things that happened when I was aged between 12 and 15 and how scared I was then. Later, into my twenties, I give verbals right back. There were two close calls on rape happening but I became so angry that I fought with all my strength, and told them both one of us would die and it wouldn’t be me. How dare any man think he has any right to take what he wants of a woman’s body?