Donald Trump (Image: PA/Stefani Reynolds)

My fElloW AmeriCans.

I QUIT. THIS IS NoT a ConcESSion speech.

More than 70 million good hard-working Americans, want me to be their president.

I AM THEIR PRESIDENT.

But Joe Biden and Carmel Haris have stolen this election. tHey have STOLEN the oVal office!

How can I get more votes this time than last time and NOT be president??HoW? The Blacks and The Gays and the Muslims voted for ME.

I have been in business for decades. I have made MILLIONS and MillIONs of dollars because I CAN ADD UP. And ThiS DOES NOT ADD UP! I remain the 45th and 46th President Of the United States of America. I wiLL Be in the HISTORY Books FOREVER.

But I WILL NOT Play Jo Biden’s Game. I WILL NOT TAKE THIS. The Democrat are thieves and they are led by an OLD THIEF Joe Biden.

I will not take this from GEORGe Bush either. He is a TRAITOR to the cause. 

How dare hE congratulate the LOSER. THIS IS NOT HIS ELECTION.

America Will be soRRY when I leave ToDay. I DONT care. I will play goLf and make MILLIONS and BIlllIONs of dollars.

The FAKE press will be SorrY For Their negative press. They Made uP so mUch stuff. They Are FAKE. ThEy will LOOSe their Jobs now.

I will MAKE more MOneY than EVER.

My GOOD friend RUPERT MURDOCH of the REAL press has offered me MY OWN show. It will be THE HIGHEST raTing TV show on FOx and eveRy station.

iT will Showcase EVERYTHING I have Done for America. It Will be a MIX of my Favourite shows – Fox & Friends, The O’Reilly Factor, Morning Joe and the CELEBRITY apPrentice. 

But I will BE the boss OF THE WHOLE SHOW. I will BE THE STAR of DONALD’s AMERICA. iT will have 70 miLLion viewers Every Night.

I BUILT the Trump Towers. That’S why thEy have my Name.

I have fixed UNEMPLoyMEnt. I have Fixed relations With Israel and other countries Like Belgium or Bulgaria. ALSO NAMBIA.

I have given BLOod So a vaccine for the corona virus can SAVE ALL Americans. I recoVERED from Corona faster THAN ANYONE ELSE ON THE PLANET.

I won this election by A LOT. I had a big lead on election night and then it miraculously diSaPPeared as the DAYS went BY. THAT is CoRupt.

It is CorRupt in Pennsylvania and Detroit and MiChigan and PhilADELphia.

I will never do business IN those states AGAIN. NEver.

ThEY will be Broke and clOSe.

And IN FIVE years, or when the NEXT election is, I WILL BE BACK as YOUR PRESIDENT as your 47TH presidenT. 

I WILL FIX BIDEN’S MISTAKES. BELIEVE me. But beFOre then I AM GOING TO MAKE A Lot Of MONEY.

BillIOns and Billions of Dollars. And I will WIN AGAIN.

And I WILL clOSE down THE FAKE Press!

GooDnight AmerICA. YOUR fired!

DONALD J TRUMP

PRESIDENT

Peter Fray

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Peter Fray
Editor-in-chief of Crikey

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