Crown Resorts director Andrew Demetriou (Image: Provided)

Whom among us can honestly say it’s never happened? You wake up and realise with a bracing shock you have an exam or a presentation or a meeting today and you’ve completely failed to prepare.

So it was for non-executive Crown director Andrew Demetriou at yesterday’s inquiry into Crown Resorts, who was given a merciless going over for reading answers from cheat sheets (including a definition of corporate culture he’d plucked “off the net”).

Next time, he can just consult Crikey‘s handy palm cards. Read these verbatim and you’ll sail through your grilling:

If the question is about probity:

Thank you for the question. Firstly, let me just say that PROBITY, in general, means the quality of having strong moral principles; honesty, integrity. Dare I say it — uprightness. But, your honour, if I had to define PROBITY IN BUSINESS well then, I would have to say it would be a strict adherence to a code of ethics based on undeviating honesty, especially in commercial [so like, to do with money, don’t say this bit out loud obviously] matters and beyond legal requirements. 

If you’re asked about good governance:

Well, I’ve always been extremely clear and consistent on this. Personally, I believe that GOVERNANCE encompasses the system by which an organisation is controlled and operates, and the mechanisms by which it, and its people, are held to account. It might make me unpopular to point this out to people, but I believe that ethics, risk management, compliance and administration are all elements of governance.

If asked about your independence:

I’m very proud of how I’ve managed to stay free from any business or other relationship that could materially interfere (and/or could reasonably be perceived to materially interfere) with the independent exercise of that director’s MY judgment. [Note to self: is here good place to make it clear I know James Packer and Crown are different things?]

If you’re asked about how much training you’ve had:

I spent half an hour doing training. Harold Mitchell told me that was very slow! [Note to self: check if it’s good to make jokes at these things.]