(Image: House of Commons/PA Wire)

Mid-afternoon in a traditional British pub -- dark brown polished wood, 30 taps along the bar, dustmotes circling in light pouring through leadlight glass. And on the flat screen above one corner, the grey blur of Theresa May afront the green benches of the House of Commons, burbling out answers to endless teasing questions about her three years of utter failure. "The honourable member will remember that this house voted twice to not exit without a deal but also to exit..."

"This house voted to exit, but not to exit without a deal…" May whispered, not because she was exhausted afresh, but because the landlord wouldn’t turn the volume up. "It’s chasing people away" he said, furiously rubbing at the brass bar fittings.