Scott Morrison almond latte
Scott Morrison furiously pouring milk, type unknown. (Lukas Coch/AAP)

I’ve got a confession to make. I have recently been dabbling in almond milk coffees. I didn’t mean to go that far, though after I got hooked on that sweet, creamy soy I guess it was inevitable I would eventually end up experimenting with almond, coconut and -- if you can believe a nice boy could fall so wayward -- macadamia milk (macadamia milk tip: just say no).

Thank God I only drink almond flat whites though, and not almond lattes. After all, I don’t want to be named and shamed for my coffee drinking habits by PM Scott Morrison, who has been letting rip at the “almond latte set” for ruining Australia with their dubious beverage choices and, by implication, dangerous neo-Marxist mindsets.