scott morrison

Russian multipart novels typically end with a short comic story that recapitulates the entire plot in farcical terms. How lucky we are that Australian politics has taken up that form! A decade on from the election of Kevin 07, our sixth prime minister since John Howard has turned out to be an absolute blithering idiot. ScoMo rounds out the series, not with the mediaeval strangeness of Tony Abbott, the exhausting delusions of Malcolm Turnbull, or Kevin Rudd -- last seen as a relentlessly saluting golden cat on the shelf in Richo’s Chinese restaurant -- but with plain old-fashioned suburban crapness. Tony’s from Mordor, Malcolm’s from a Six Sigma roleplay at Abu Dhabi University, Kevin’s from space, but ScoMo’s from the Shire.

The measure of ScoMo’s doltishness is that whole fiascos go through to the keeper without much attention. Last week, in the lead-up to the Wentworth brouhaha, the Israel embassy sideswipe and the "white people" vote, entirely obscured two other beauties: Morrison losing control of his own named website, and his use of the Forrest Gump line "life is like a box of chocolates" as a warning against voting independent.