The Bachelor finale Nick Cummins Honey Badger

When you’ve been watching popular television in a professional capacity for as long as I have, it’s hard to shake the feeling that you’ve seen it all.

Those big secrets and massive swerves that networks like to advertise using a duo of voiceovers (Upbeat Hunky Man and his colleague, Seductive Bitchy Lady) are usually little more than the same-old worn-out tropes of reality and “factual” programming. In other words, when Ten’s voiceover artist announced that the finale of The Bachelor would shock me, I anticipated experiencing nothing of the sort.