I do not take exception to Federation Square, and this is despite some good effort. It’s a proud Melbourne custom to stay angry at the city’s largest acts of architecture and we would hardly know ourselves if we failed to resent, say, Crown Casino together. But, there’s something about that square that deadens this tradition. You enter the place just once and you think, “Yeah. That’ll do.” We suffer a paralysis of rage.

If you’re from out of town and planning a date with belligerent Victorian relatives, take note: this place will soothe the passions of most, although not that alt-right Blair chap whose passions might only be soothed by the sight and sound of shiny boots. Otherwise, it’s a good place for a potentially bad meeting. Not a good place for a potentially good one though. I do not recommend this venue to those seeking spirited exchange.