Humour

Feb 26, 2018

Legally Binding: playing Christmas carols in shopping centres now punishable by death

A public interest endeavour dedicated to the ongoing improvement of The Social Contract.

Lorin Clarke

Freelance writer

Please note the introduction of the following amendments to The Social Contract. These matters pertain specifically to Appendix F: Shopping.

Please note the following important amendments:

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5 comments

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5 thoughts on “Legally Binding: playing Christmas carols in shopping centres now punishable by death

  1. MAC TEZ

    Willfully and recklessly squeezed avocados could re-badged as “Pre-smashed Organically bruised Gourmet breakfast fruits” and sold at a somewhat higher price than their untouched kin.
    That’s one way to handle what has become quite a pressing issue.

    1. AR

      A pre-smashed avodcado, how have we survived such deprivation for so long?
      10+

  2. Graham Henderson

    An essential next step to the capital offence for playing Christmas carols should apply the same penalty to deliberate playing of any music louder than air-conditioner hum without the written consent of all shoppers on the premises.

  3. Rais

    It’s almost March. Must be about time for the bunting to go up and the pre-Xmas sales to start.

    1. MAC TEZ

      To know whereabouts we are into a festive season, follow the pastry trail !
      I think our local supermarket duopoly started selling hot cross buns on the 2nd of Jan. so we know Easter is only a moment away. Around about the 3rd of April the fruit mince pies will be available, which means Xmas is only just around the corner.

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