There were times in 2012 and 2013 — when Kevin Rudd and his followers regularly lobbed bombs at Julia Gillard — that you could only watch events unfold with a sense of wonderment; that never before had we seen such chaos, and we never would again. One of the promises Tony Abbott made before the 2013 election, the one that even his devoted enemies thought he would keep, was to restore a sense of calm and order to government, of adults being in charge. After all, Abbott was extraordinarily disciplined, he led a united party and he and his ministers had substantial experience in government.
Boy did that turn out to be wrong. The incompetence and sheer brazen stupidity of the Abbott years (all two of them) made the Gillard years look relatively ordered. Gillard could at least blame Rudd and his malignant egotism. Abbott had no one to blame but himself. Malcolm Turnbull, we knew, would have Abbott destabilising and white-anting him, but surely would prove as skilful at being prime minister as he was at most everything else he had turned his hand to in his life.
But the Turnbull government is like a combination of the Abbott and Gillard governments: rank incompetence coupled with a vengeful former leader. Twice the chaos. Twice the dysfunction. Twice the fun. And there are days, like yesterday, when you can only marvel at the incompetence of this government, to contemplate, in a kind of aesthetic sense, the giddy beauty achieved by such sublime levels of idiocy. It had been clear for over 24 hours that the Prime Minister — doubtless, and rightly, deeply angry that his deputy had dropped him and the entire government deep in poo yet again — wanted nothing to do with the questions about the employment of the woman who is now (we’ve definitively established) his partner. It’s a matter for the Nationals, he said in question time. It’s a matter for the Nationals, Scott Morrison said in question time, too.
[Rundle: Turnbull is the most contemptible modern prime minister we’ve had]
That only left the question of whether the woman’s employment had been ticked off by Turnbull because under the Statement of Ministerial Standards, the employment of partners had to be approved by him. To acknowledge that yes, his office had signed off on the move to Matt Canavan’s office, and then to that of Damian Drum, the hitherto anonymous Nationals Whip, would be to wreck the eager distancing from Joyce undertaken by the Prime Minister. So some bright spark came up with the reasoning that Campion, being merely someone with whom Joyce had had a sexual relationship, was not technically his “partner” for the purposes of section 2.23 of the Statement of Ministerial Standards.
With one bound, Mal was free.
Or not, really. Because it wasn’t a bright idea. It was a dumb idea. The dumbest idea anyone has had in a government that has been like a rolling summit of bad ideas, a kind of bad idea thinktank, the Institute for Shitty Ideas, perhaps, with regular spots on the ABC to advocate the rotten things it has thought up.
The coverage on the evening news bulletins of the claim that she was “not his partner” was scathing. The “pub test” was mentioned. It was worse than not passing a pub test. It was worse, even, than all the comparisons with Centrelink’s processes that so many pointed out. It signaled how disastrously out of touch this government is, how it has no grasp of how the electorate thinks. Not his partner? NOT HIS PARTNER? WTF?
One of the things that damaged John Howard in his last year in office was that in the public imagination he became the ultimate casuist, a man who twisted and parsed his own words to evade responsibility for things, in complete defiance of common sense. Howard, at least, had a residual store of electoral goodwill for his economic and political management. This government has none of that. And “not his partner” isn’t casuistry, it isn’t some self-serving, Jesuitical interpretation, it’s simple bullshit.
And best of all, it now means Turnbull is linked to the whole saga, not by a sin of commission but of omission. One’s mind boggles, one’s head shakes.
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While Crikey seems to be more ‘out there’ in the mainstream (even gets a mention on Media Watch these days…), it still remains, unfortunately, but a squeek to the public at large. And whilst the Daily Poograph plonked BJ in the plop, News Corp will ultimately wipe the Coalition’s bum every time – hence the shear audacity and arrogance of these bleached arseholes.
Oops, ‘sheer’, not ‘shear’. However, it almost fits…
… a good opportunity for the Leunig cartoon “Ramming the Shears”?
Yep, writing of this quality and brutal honesty should be on the front pages of all the local rags, and shouted loudly from the screens at the ABC too…well done Bernard, your best for a long time, but sadly not visible to many of the dopey voters out there that need to see it over and over again until understanding finally dawns on them.
John Birmingham does a similarly scathing piece that at least made it to The Age.https://www.theage.com.au/politics/federal/the-hypocrisy-of-barnaby-joyce-is-stunning-20180212-p4z03k.html
Thanks for that link Lloydois. Birmingham is one of my favourite writers, and he gave him both barrels.
Birmingham’s piece gave me the best laugh I’ve had in ages. Without doubt the most appropriate moniker for Barnaby revealed to us all as the unrepresented swill that squints in the glare of his entitled bleached a***hole
I must be slow today. I know what it is, but could somebody please explain the significance of being a bleached arsehole in the context of this shemozzle?
Assume it means (loosely) an entitled caucasian person acting the arsehole?
One is tempted to think like Malcolm Tucker ( how sweet that he shares a first name with the idiot in charge ) – just “fuck the fuck off” the lot of you. But stay, surely there is heaps more fun to be had yet. Especially given it seems that Moloch has commenced via the Tele to train the sights on them – banyard at least. We could see them gone for pleasing while.
Why don’t the media ask the next question – if she was not his partner, then what was she? How would Malcolm answer that?
Perhaps Barnaby told him she was simply his “fuck buddy”?
Underling with benefits.
Exactly, once we know that the reason you transferred an absolutely brilliant, worth-every-cent media officer from the Leader’s Office to a junior Minister’s office because of the impact of a personal relationship on your office, it makes no sense to then say that she was not your partner so the Ministerial Standards did not apply. Then don’t transfer her and same some money.
Also, even if the Ministerial Standards do not require you to consult the PM about non-partners they certainly do not prevent you from doing so. You would expect that Australia’s best retail politician and the best social media officer in the Western world would have known that an issue might arise and would err on the side of caution.
‘Partner’ may well be the polite option than other nouns the Oz electorate is suggesting.
Excellent reply, Robert. WTF is she? I have to say Malcolm Turnbull seems to be joined at the hip to the worst elements in parliament. And no one defines the word ‘worst’ better than Barnaby Joyce.
His” bit on the side?”
Turnbull is splashing our boots with his excuses.
“Funny(?)”, Slomo turning up on 7:30 last night to explain away what tried – and got away. Then there were questions about how he knew tax cuts were going to deliver what he and his BCA strappers say they will? Sales didn’t even bring up his “recent wet track form” – including trying to get ASIO to nobble refugee processing; or for over-ruling Treasury on what Labor’s negative gearing policy would do to the economy and house prices, to sit on that, because it didn’t match his “infallible” opinion?
Another lost chance while she had him in the “hot seat”?
I’m suprised they didn’t have a giggle and a prediction of the chances of his/their(?) Sharkies this year? Him with his track record for futures?
I’m surprised that Leigh Sales survives. She is not up to the job and has let numerous politicians get away with murder. Please can we have Sarah Ferguson asap. Just swap the two ladies jobs over. Leigh does a nice introduction and Sarah absolutely nails her interviewees.
I am hoping the arrival of Laura Tingle to 7:30 might result in some raised standards.
No ABC journalist will be allowed to tell the truth, the ABC is now the personal property of Rupert Murdoch courtesy of his girl Michelle Guthrie, all non complaint staff have been made redundant and the remaining ones understand the new rules , the new ABC is just Murdoch`s private T.V station run at no cost to him and paid for by the Australian taxpayers to carry this governments message to as what the public are allowed to watch and to promote right wing ideology, much the same as Hitlers minister for propagandise Dr. josef goebbels did in Nazi Germany.
hear hear
Agreed, Bret. Leigh should join her pal Annette Crabb in simpering and serving lamingtons to politicians.
As Statler and Waldorf would say,”enjoying the show so far?”
What a circus. Mal Talkbull as ringmaster doing regular backflips to provide entertainment also doubling as contortionist.
Bonking backwoods beetroot Barmy Barney as lead clown, always finding some new and incredible way to make us laugh. Supported by Laurel and Hardy mimics Caravan and Christian.
Bookshelves Brandis always finding new and innovative ways to interpret everything with long monologues.
Scotty Mo who can both spin and talk faster than anyone.
Pass the eyedrops Julie who can kill with a single stare.
Poodles Pyne sitting bolt upright and staring at his master with big cow eyes. who can sound like a corella and act like a galah.
That Black haired Person sitting behind Talkbull, making monkey faces at the opposition and breaking into hysterical laughter on command.
Everybody’s favourite Giggles Cash. Who can bring down the whole tent with one supersonic screech of laughter.
Not forgetting the prize fighter and simian imitator Phony Tony.
You out there add the rest, Iv’e got writers cramp and there are heaps more.
There are indeed heaps more, but you have prepared quite a revolting entrée for our delectation. And then the ABC puts the Dog Lover Kenny on Q&A….where are the Chaser when you need them?
But Micallef should have a ball tomorrow night, even though he will be under a lot of impossible management pressure to pour equal scorn on Labor and the Greens.
Of course it’s a three ring circus. Right?
I actually meant ultrasonic screech. She’s also good at the disappearing lady trick.
An absolutely appropriate appraisal of all of ’em but you got the name wrong…it’s Cackles Cash (a credit to AR for coining it ) and it can’t be anything else.
S’tru.
Sorry AR
Gee well done- you have great form there