It's enough to make a genuine conspiracy theorist cry. The press gallery conspired to suppress Barnaby Joyce's relationship with a staffer, according to social media and some mainstream media commentators. Either the conspiracy was because of the Machiavellian machinations of Malcolm Turnbull's office (despite past form suggesting that they'd struggle to spell Machiavellian on a good day) and the complicity of journalists, or because of some Boys' Club mentality that wilfully applies a double standard to male politicians.

Some of us, of course, were carefully preparing the groundwork for this conspiracy eight years ago just so we could look consistent last October. And even cunningly defended Julia Gillard from commentary about her personal life. All in a day's work in the press gallery, where we regularly convene to identify what we'll conspire to withhold from the public.