Feb 2, 2018

Someone should do something about me being so fat

The creep of government services is out of control, writes Toby Ralph.

Toby Ralph

Marketing consultant

UK Prime Minister Theresa May has just announced a “minister for loneliness”.

With millions having no friends and seeing nobody for weeks, loneliness is unquestionably a serious problem, but is government the answer?

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13 thoughts on “Someone should do something about me being so fat

  1. LeoDiG

    Did anyone actually read this article before posting it? Or is this a very refined dose of satire that has somehow escaped my comprehension?

  2. AR

    Seriously? Two out of ten pay for the other eight, ie ..everything?
    I have an idea for Crikey articles from the good olde Gore Hill ABC studio enclave, when there was a Programme Prevention Officer, whose sole purpose it was.
    Good, golden daze.

  3. Marcus Ogden

    Did someone stick the wrong byline on a Peter Chudd piece?

  4. paddy

    Sheesh Crikey. Times must be pretty tough in the bunker, when you’re reduced to publishing Toby Ralph’s attempts at satire.

  5. Justin Thyme

    >Toby Ralph is a marketing consultant
    Stick to marketing. Leave humanity to the rest of us.

  6. Linda Connolly

    Toby Ralph is self-avowedly totally amoral & utterly for sale, why would anyone listen to him on any issue pertaining to how to conduct a decent human society?
    QUOTE: “I’ll work for anyone who pays me. I’m a taxi: flag me down and I’ll take you wherever you want to go. “I’m appalling but at least I know I’m appalling.”

  7. Peter Hannigan

    I think the British Minister for Loneliness is misunderstood. Given the pressures Theresa May is under and the relationship with her colleagues, loneliness would be a serious issue. The new Minister is probably obliged to talk to the Prime Minister – maybe even say nice things to her occasionally.

    Perhaps Malcolm Turnbull would like one.

    1. Matt Hardin

      Funniest thing I’ve read all day, Peter.

  8. Befuddled

    “Wealth creators and business owners often want to keep the prosperity they create” This must be some other country he’s talking about – Oz is full of property spivs & marketing consultants.

  9. wilful

    There are interesting things to be said about the roles of governments in the 21st century, and whether they should be inexorably expanding. This article isn’t a useful contribution.

    1. Damon

      Exactly, Wilful. The closest Ralph gets is a bit of “anecdata” with his conclusion: “We increasingly outsource our problems and responsibilities to government, and correspondingly their price goes up and up, the evident link being frequently ignored when we vote.”
      Instead of evidence of this “link” we get I guess what marketers like to call “common sense”. Or something.
      Less of this, please, Crikey.

  10. wendlee

    Great article. It is definitely the direction we are going and worthy of thought.

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