|State of the Union Bingo Card|
|Use of a phrase involving the words “blood”, “struggle” or “pride” pulled straight from a dictator in a far-right movie||“Fair trade”||“Terrific”||The cabinet shows signs of silent panic when Trump starts to slur his words towards the end||“Many people are saying…” followed by something everyone in the room is hearing for the first time|
|Cut to Paul Ryan leading a standing ovation after meaningless statement||One piece of legislation cited to back up a series of increasingly extreme claims about the administration’s productivity||Trump accidentally invents a new word — a la “bigly” or “covfefe” — and it goes viral||Hillary Clinton tweets something snarky, accompanied by a Broad City gif, or a three-month-old meme||Sudden appearance of Kid Rock and Scott Baio on stage|
|A reference, apropos of nothing, to the “elites” who never thought he’d make it this far||Recounting, in oddly specific detail, a mundane part of a meeting with a world leader||Post-speech coverage describes Trump as “presidential”; having “turned a page”||A reference to the media being extremely mean||An uncomfortably long pause as Trump tries to think of a cutting put-down about Kim Jong-Un|
|A faltering, rambling and repetitive passage dedicated to his own intellect||“Believe me”||Trump tells the crowd that “everyone says” he is “the best” at something that many routinely point out he is not very good at||A promise that a foreign power will pay for his most expensive commitments||“CHAI-NAH”|
|“Millions and millions…”||Reference to someone he has recently slandered in the cruelest, pettiest terms minutes earlier as “my good friend…”||A melancholy reflection on how much work it is to be president||A reference to obstructionist Democrats and a call for unity around an inherently divisive policy like a border wall between Mexico and the US||A shot of Melania, half wincing, half blank, staring out in the endless nothing, only dimly aware there is someone in the room talking|
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