Hannahkah is one of the most beautiful of the many Jewish festivals that mark Gods renegging on His every promise made to his people, and is known widely throughout the West through the medium of half-remembered RE classes, from which this account is taken.

The year was, in the Jewish calendar, 180 or -57 or 23,312 or something, and there was a man ... um, there was a tribe, there's a hill in it somewhere, and this was the time of the Princesses, and a man had a daughter named Hannah, or was it three daughters, or is that St.Nicholas? Now this was in the time of a tribe called the Macadamias, or possibly the Wannabees, maybe the Ramones, at a place called Kwanza. And lo, the Wannabes would call on the man with the daughter Hannah, to take her out in their chariot -- or "car", which is where that comes from, I guess, sure, why not? And lo, as the Wannabees returned Hannah in their car, the father would stand on the porch with a lit brazier, which is Hebrew for "menthol", just so, y'know, and it gets hazy from here, but in commemoration of which we tell over eight days the eight jokes, and though there is really only enough laughter for one, it lasts all eight.