Justice

Dec 4, 2017

Legally Binding: people who eat hot chips on public transport must be brought to justice

Eating hot chips on the train is a serious breach of etiquette, as writer, broadcaster and legal expert Lorin Clarke explains in this amendment to the Social Contract.

Legally Binding is a public interest endeavour dedicated to the ongoing improvement of The Social Contract.

Please note the introduction of the following amendments to The Social Contract. These matters pertain specifically to Appendix C: Catching Public Transport.

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8 comments

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8 thoughts on “Legally Binding: people who eat hot chips on public transport must be brought to justice

  1. Raaraa

    The Hot Chips industry will vehemently oppose any move that will infringe on the consumer rights to eat hot chips and will consult the UN convention on human rights regarding this.

    1. Mike Smith

      Clearly “Political Correctness gone mad” 🙂

      Starts playing RWNJ bingo.

  2. Xoanon

    I’ll move a couple of amendments:
    1. These words be added to Section 1.1.1 (“Premature disembarkation”): “Responsibility shall also fall upon passengers to note when their stop is approaching and to make a prompt exit, rather than suddenly rocketing through embarking passengers upon looking up from one’s phone and realising where they are.”
    Also to Section 1.1.8 (“Spare Window Seat Creeps”): “a. An exemption is granted to those passengers who are disembarking in a couple of stops, though they should swivel around to let another passenger claim the window seat; b. An exemption is also granted to larger passengers for whom the aisle seat is more practical, allowing both them and their neighbouring passengers more shoulder width.”

  3. zut alors

    I wish to add a penalty for any individual who, on mounting a bus, doesn’t have the transport card ready in their hand. Deportation (or worse) could apply to those particularly stupid travellers who, on sighting the bus driver, suddenly remember that public transport requires a fare. Who knew?! This prompts fiddling with wallet/purse, diving into a handbag for elusive cash & holding up the journey for all.

    1. AR

      They are probably the people who stand numbly & nonresponsively in checkout lines until their purchases are all bagged up then are surprised that paying is part of the process.

  4. brigitte te whiti

    Another amendment needed for the sitting under the “Quiet Carriage” sign and still having a lengthy, loud conversation about your disintegrating relationship or giving advise on a disintegrating relationship.

  5. jlgintheuk

    Section 1.1.1 (“Premature disembarkation”) should perhaps be Premature embarkation? Either way, I know what you mean and am in 100% agreement!

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