Nov 14, 2017

EXCLUSIVE: totally legit FAQ cheat sheet for people confused about James Paterson’s gay marriage bill

Are you a small business owner excited to discriminate against LGBTI couples, but unsure of where you stand legally? Let this guide be your, er, guide.

What follows is a leaked* “cheat sheet”, free photocopies of which were handed out by Liberal Senator James Paterson along with his marriage equality bill. Crikey understands the authenticity of this document is a bit dubious, but then so is legally permissible discrimination.

Confused about Senator James Paterson’s new marriage equality bill? No need! Here are a few helpful hypothetical scenarios to help you understand the practical ramifications of the Senator’s scheme.

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11 thoughts on “EXCLUSIVE: totally legit FAQ cheat sheet for people confused about James Paterson’s gay marriage bill

  1. Xoanon

    This demonstrates how hard it is to write satire in the times we live in. This list comes across as only slightly more ludicrous than the sort of rules the reactionaries actually want.

  2. klewso

    Does Homphobia qualify as a religion? Is it eligible for tax-free status?

      1. AR

        Well gynophobic religions are well funded & supported so why not?

  3. Robert Smith

    When you look at the so-called “draft bill” Patterson has published of the 59 pages 1 clause redefines marriage to include “the union of two people” and all the rest seems to be devoted to preserving the freedoms of people who oppose it.

  4. Richard

    Always had this uncomfortable feeling watching the human eel that is Paterson pontificating about various things. And we are paying for his trough refills.


      I really like his hair style; reminds me of Rolf Gruber, Liesl Von Trapp’s boyfriend from the “Sound of Music” who runs off to join the Hitler youth

  5. klewso

    Funny footnote was Chris “Bundy” Berg on The Dum last night to give his “expert” opinion on this – sans disclosure of their confluent IPA past?
    Given Berg’s defence of this grab for control of the agenda, some people could have been forgiven for thinking he’d had some input into framing it
    – but I couldn’t of course.

  6. Lord Muck

    Hopefully the vote today will be just tight enough (55% vs 45% ?) to cause a Coalition room explosion. Call me vindictive, but that would be even sweeter than an overwhelming Yes.

  7. Ross

    You are wrong about Ross, your catholic priest. It is a blight on all people named Ross. My name is Ross. I am an openly gay man who believes it is time for marriage equality. Unlike your Ross, I know lots of same sex couples and hope they soon have the right to marry in our backwards country should they wish.

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