Oct 5, 2017

Rundle: mad, bad Boris Johnson could somehow still end up steering Britain

Milquetoast Theresa May looks closer to political death everyday, leaving the helm of the Good Ship Tory (and Britain) up for grabs.

Guy Rundle — Correspondent-at-large

Guy Rundle


When historians come to write the history of the present, will they lead with "what the F- happened?".

It is the least of the half-dozen events and non-events in a crowded week, but the most symbolic. UK Prime Minister Theresa May, addressing the Tory Party conference on its final day, knew she had to pull out a blinder of a speech, to re-establish her authority, after a renewed campaign of destabilisation by natural blonde Manbaby Boris Johnson.

Free Trial

You've hit members-only content.

Sign up for a FREE 21-day trial to keep reading and get the best of Crikey straight to your inbox

By starting a free trial, you agree to accept Crikey’s terms and conditions


Leave a comment

33 thoughts on “Rundle: mad, bad Boris Johnson could somehow still end up steering Britain

  1. Xoanon

    “She’s a minor, disliked character from an Anita Brookner novel, she is a hospital visit on a wet Saturday afternoon, a repeat of a Midsomer Murders episode, an unnecessary train trip to Peterborough, the chocolate mousse dessert at an Angus Steak House.”

    Nailed it. You could go on forever with this… a drizzly Tuesday afternoon out of season in Blackpool, etc…

  2. Jackson Harding

    And just like the Poms Mr Rundle has completely ignored Ruth Davidson. There is a part of Britain north of the border, even if much of it doesn’t want to be part of Britain any longer.

    Any leader who can take seats of Labour and the SNP north of the Tweed has to be taken seriously.

    1. AR

      Good point but is Britain ready for a kick boxing Lesbian? Possibly.
      Probably by the time the current lot have reduced the Union to a smoking ruin (tm Leventy).

  3. Electric Lardyland

    Yes, but does, “Building a C unt Hat”, work for everyone?

  4. old greybearded one

    If Trump can be president, Boris can be PM. Boris is right about one thing though. He has called out the Saudis as the terrorist backing, war funding scum that they are.

    1. AR

      True but would not for a moment cease selling them weapons, the UK’s only hard currency export.
      Apart from “financial services” which are simply WMDs in digital form.

  5. Draco Houston

    I’d heard it described as “the worst press conference since Budd Dwyer”, when I checked it out it wasn’t far off.

  6. zut alors

    ‘… a Butlin’s redcoat trying to get a party of millworkers from Sidcup to dance the hokey-pokey.’

    Ah, the poetry of it, Rundle scores again.

    The 21st century’s political trend increasingly favours the vain, vapid & venal as leaders – the word ‘leader’ is used loosely in this context. We already despair of the quality of person attracted to government but vacant toads like Trump & Boris are rubbing our noses in it.

    Speaking of vacant, today it was my misfortune to see Turnbull’s press conference re increased surveillance. He seems to have lost the ability to string a sentence together…albeit the least of his shortcomings.

    1. AR

      Zut – many have noted for some time Talcum’s inability to speak English, odd for a barrister one might have thought, but the greatest problem is finding, amid the sub clauses, passive voices & subjunctives, a verb.

      1. MJM

        Lost for a verb is quite common in polliespeak. It was a major affliction for Teddy Kennedy and I well remember a cartoon with an interviewer saying: “a verb Senator. Can we have a verb?”

        I think it is a pretty accurate depiction of language reflecting behaviour. If a verb is still, as I was taught about 70 years ago, an action or doing word then their collective inability to find a word to describe their collective inaction is not surprising.

        1. AR

          That was Rick Redfern in Doonesbury before he met Joannie Caucus and they bred Jeff, a phantasist – Red Rascal – like her ditzy daughter JJ from a different sire, which is a clear indication, that there is something dreadfully deleterious in her genes.

  7. Rais

    No doubt the various British pollies ate everything Guy says they are but do we need all this detail in an Australian publication? We can get it all free of charge (at the moment) in the Guardian.

    1. Rais

      Sorry, misprint. No doubt they ate, too, but I meant to type “the British pollies are everything Guy says…”

    2. zut alors

      Please tell us (Guardian subscribers) where to find the same inspired writing & skilled turn of phrase regularly doled out by Rundle. I read The Guardian most days, have I missed something?

      1. lykurgus

        He called her Strepsils without wondering where the 2,4-Dichlorophenyl methanol and 5-Methyl-2-pentylphenol had gotten to (it’s the antiseptic content, people – keep up!); and without attributing Boris Johnson or the Red Hand of Ulster to either of those roles.
        And he was scooped on the “F”-Off joke (the sign). By Fran Kelly!
        And he didn’t see any of this coming even after watching her consume deep-fried potato-baton comestibles, or “chips”. He even got scooped on her annoyance at the lack of a sommelier to advise a wine pairing.

        Yes, he’s inspired – but these days, inspired by what?

        1. lykurgus

          Oh, and where did we learn that Lord Buckethead was running against her? Not from Guy.

      2. Mk8adelic

        Indeed. I couldn’t agree more. I have read the guardian since the ‘70s and, bedsides Badham, the local political commentary borders on the murdochesque.

      3. [email protected]

        There’s a lot we miss in the Guardian

  8. rhwombat

    I wonder how much Boris remembers of Lucius Aurelius Commodus from his pre-Bullingdon Club days? He certainly seems keen to re-enact it.

  9. Venise Alstergren

    Guy Rundle: You might have been even less inspired had you read Boris Johnson’s ode to Winston Churchill. So great was Johnson’s hagiography, so nauseous the syntax, so grovelling in its refusal to see ‘the great man’s’ faults, so great an epic waste of the reader’s time, that half-finished I delivered at my local $2 shop with a warning to whoever might buy it tucked inside.

  10. klewso

    I wonder if there’s not enough residual bile – over his role=playing stunts during the Brexit campaign – to curb his trajecTory?

Leave a comment

Share this article with a friend

Just fill out the fields below and we'll send your friend a link to this article along with a message from you.

Your details

Your friend's details