“Satisfied I’m Australian, to be blunt”

Mr Galileo* said; AstroLabe? A little pissed:

“I’d had a skinful, wanted to nut the cunt”


“I ‘Ask Jeeves’d the address, to bunt

The form my sister had filled in; I missed!

Satisfied I’m Australian, to be blunt”


“Call the media!” he said, as he slumped**

Four decades on, a same-sex Glesga kiss

“I’d had a skinful, wanted to nut the cunt”


“The uh ‘no’ case”, the Gauleiter sez, “bears the brunt”***

Ah love, you hate self, but your reading this****

“Satisfied I’m Australian, to be blunt”


What a Friday! Two uglies, bumped!*****

What brave new world is this?

“I’d had a skinful, wanted to nut the cunt”?!

Satisfied we’re Australian, to be blunt


Crikey does not endorse political violence. If you have been affected by the issues raised in this villanelle, call 13 11 14

If you have been forced to write a villanelle in a second-year English course, change to comp. sci.

Notes by Dr Sue Rature, Head of Tinder Studies, William McMahon University (Ulverstone)

*Senator Malcolm Roberts is a member of the climate change denialist Galileo Society; my favourite footnote in his empirically evident papers is “everyone knows this”

**In the ’70s, drippy cableknit-clad Christian Monash student political doof Peter Costello was beaten up quite badly (badly as in violently, not as in artlessly) by an anarchist, because well … actually for defunding a student anarchist paper. Those were his final words before slipping into unconsciousness.

***Eric Abetz is the great nephew of Hitler’s ambassador to Vichy France, Otto Abetz, and it is very unfair to keep raising this.

****Here’s looking at you, kid.

*****Coooooooome On! That’s goooooood!