Australia

Aug 22, 2017

LEAKED: Australian Christian Lobby talking points on how to prosecute case against same-sex marriage

Raise vague, non-specific concerns about the sanctity of marriage. Talk about the cake bakers. Call your opponents intolerant.

Same Sex Marriage Australian Christian Lobby

Satirist Ben Pobjie has come into possession of secret Australian Christian Lobby talking points to use to shut down your ideological enemies and prosecute the No case in the marriage equality debate. Ben assures as that they are 100% genuine -- and you'll see them in action used by such fellow-travelers as Mark Latham, Tony Abbott, Eric Abetz and today Paul Kelly -- so that's good enough for us. 

  • Take every opportunity to connect gay marriage to political correctness. If politicians allow gay marriage, then it must be politically correct. Nobody wants to be politically correct, so once you point this out they will agree with you.
  • Note that gay marriage will prevent freedom of speech. If gay people get married, you will no longer be free to say, “Those gay people are not married”. This is censorship and against classical liberalism.
  • Ask pointed intelligent questions about gender fluidity. For example, “If gender-fluid people can get married, how will we stop gender fluids in schools?” Or, “What if two transgender people want to get married?” Or, “What is a gender?” Also point out that “Same-sex marriage” will allow intersex marriage, which is when a person who is both sexes marries him/herself or something.
  • Use clever hypotheticals. E.g. if gay people can get married, what is to stop a man marrying the Sydney Harbour Bridge? This is a good point because nobody has any good answer for it. Other analogies are: if gay people get married then people can marry dogs; if gay people can get married then people can marry hundreds of other people at once; if gay people can get married Kevin Andrews’ cycling club will have to disband, etc.
  • Warn about religious freedom. If gay marriage is allowed, then many churches will be forced to perform gay marriages that they do not believe in. Many people who have religious objections to gayness will be forced to love gayness because of the law. People whose religion forbids homosexual intercourse will have to have sex with homosexuals under threat of imprisonment. Show proof by supplying copies of the draft legislation that specifies this. Also point out that in countries where gay marriage has been legalised, bakers are being forced to make cakes against their will. Ask your friends: do you want to live in a country that mandates non-consensual patisserie?
  • Talk about the children. Point out that marriage is for the purpose of procreation. Use anatomy charts to show that gay people cannot reproduce. Ask questions like, “Why should a small minority of gay people be allowed to steal our children just because they want to get married?” Cite statistics that show that children raised by gay couples are more likely to be criminals.
  • Raise concerns about the sanctity of marriage. Do not make these concerns explicit; just raise them, in an ominous voice.
  • Point out that actually gay people are the intolerant ones. Dust off your hands.

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22 comments

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22 thoughts on “LEAKED: Australian Christian Lobby talking points on how to prosecute case against same-sex marriage

  1. Bill Hilliger

    Many say Jesus was gay. Hung around with 12 male disciples all his adult life; …what would Lyle read into that? Nowhere does it specifically say in the bible that Jesus was not gay. He was a caring person and loved all, including gay people, gayness is not a new phenomena.

    1. Nudiefish

      Also, Jesus never made any comment on homosexuality in any shape or form. It seems that he never had any point of view on the subject at all.

      If only JC had of been explicitly anti-gay then Christians would have a lot less trouble framing his argument for him…

      1. Marlo Inaustralia

        “Also, Jesus never made any comment on homosexuality in any shape or form.”
        There was no need to say anything on the subject from Jesus or anyone else because it was just a “given” that no such condition existed or was prevalent enough to be an issue.. I forgive you for being an idiot, but for being brain-dead like your little satanic “mate Bennie”, it’s off to the laser light show with you.

        1. Chiyou

          Mario – I do hope that you are aware that Jesus walked the earth during Roman times, approximately 380 years after Plato wrote the Symposium that covered all manner of love – specifically that between men?
          It’s one thing to be committed to your faith; it’s another to be so deadly and embarrassingly, wrong.

    2. Marlo Inaustralia

      “Nowhere does it specifically say in the bible that Jesus was not gay”
      You idiot. I can’t believe I am even giving this stupid statement the dignity of reply. No, I am not going to do it. No reply at all. You are just an idiot.

      1. Andrew Seeze

        Fully understood, Marlo. Everyone has a myriad of differing opinions on a myriad of different issues. But when people hive themselves within the group-think and avoid any independent research that reveals a truism just to maintain their following and popularity at the expense of that truism, then it’ time to give it away.

  2. Patricia Rego

    Amusing but rather too close to the truth! The anti-SSM crew have to turn themselves inside out, lie outrageously & use extraordinarily pornographic imaginations in their hateful UN-Christian attack on consenting adults who love each other.

  3. Ken Dally

    It’s claimed we are made on gods image. As there are male and female people surely then God is trans.

    1. Marlo Inaustralia

      “It’s claimed we are made on gods image”
      It’s actually made “in” God’s image, not made “on” God’s image. Another idiot.

      1. Chiyou

        Mario – I do hope that you are aware that Jesus walked the earth during Roman times, approximately 380 years after Plato wrote the Symposium that covered all manner of love – specifically that between men?
        It’s one thing to be committed to your faith; it’s another to be so deadly and embarrassingly, wrong.

        1. Marlo Inaustralia

          “It is important to understand that the Symposium is, like all of Plato’s dialogues, fiction. The characters and the settings are to some degree based on history, but they are not reports of events that actually occurred or words that were actually spoken. There is no reason to think they were not composed entirely by Plato. The reader, understanding that Plato was not governed by the historical record, can read the Symposium, and ask why the author, Plato, arranged the story the way he did, and what he meant by including the various aspects of setting, composition, characters, and theme, etc.[9][10]”
          It’s fiction. You are comparing a fictitious symposium compilation by Plato to the life and times of the Son of God. The “tselem” of God. That symposium was also a feast in honour of eros. You can guess the rest.

          1. Chiyou

            Oh dear. You’re also ignoring contemporaneous evidence that there was a multitude of same sex relationships in Rome?
            You need to have a cup of tea, a Bex and a good education.

        2. Peter Hamish

          How does Jesus coming 380 years after Plato add any extra weight to Plato?. Other than being snared in the cult of great men your reasoning seems a bit twisted.
          If you are hedging your bets on Plato and his symposium over the words of the historical Jesus ( Yeshua ) the difference is easy. One lied and the other did n’t….just a starting point.

          1. Chiyou

            You *also* could do with some historical education on Ancient Greek and specifically Roman societies.
            Marloan has stated that same sex relationships are new. They’re not, and in more cultures than yours.
            *yawn*

      2. Chiyou

        One more thing Mariolo, the original Hebrew uses the word צלם (tselem) is literally a shadow which is the outline or representation of the original.
        So on, in this case, would be perfectly acceptable.

  4. klewso

    As Lyle is always saying (if I’m not mistaken in paraphrasing) “What’s sauce for the goose is source for the gender”.

    1. Owen Richardson

      I don’t want to be forced to marry a goose.

  5. Gwen Clark

    Sorry, couldn’t find the satire. They do all of this stuff.

  6. [email protected]

    Satire though this is, it is not too far from the truth. We live in strange times, where it is sometimes difficult to tell satire from reality. http://www.blotreport.com/australian-politics/acl-bigotry/

  7. AR

    I thought this was supposed to be satire – I have almost all these points raised by the usual suspects on Macquarie radio Hate Central.
    Is this another case of Ben being forced by the sheer viciousness of the bigots to just do straight reportage?
    The Stupid, it Burns!

    1. AR

      .. “I have heard almost all these points..

  8. Hunt Ian

    This is an unbelievable set of discussion points. A “clever” question about marrying “the Harbour bridge “!!! No one is able to tell you why you can’t if gays can marry!!! Good grief. Marriage is a pledge to live together for the sake of mutual sexual love. Can the harbour bridge pledge to live together with anyone for the sake of mutual sexual love? This so called “good question ” is so stupid that one has to ask what company the Christian lobby keeps, if they can think no one can give a good answer!!
    Are these “discussion notes” genuine? If they are, they should be widely publicised to show why you should not vote “no” if these are best arguments for it

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