What follows is an early draft of a letter, leaked to satirist Ben Pobjie, written by Matt "the accidental Italian" Canavan to his associates in the Australian mining industry. Look closely and you'll notice subtle clues that suggest Canavan isn't quite so unItalian as he has tried to make out. For example, have you ever known an Anglo-Celtic Australian who could make such a difficult-to-refuse offer?

My dear Paesani Friends,