Trump's Russia scandal

Satirist Ben Pobjie has used his special journalistic powers to unearth this little gem for us today: a potentially genuine (who knows? It could be) extract from the diary of Donald Trump Junior regarding his movements on that fateful day:

JUNE 9, 2016

SCHEDULED APPOINTMENTS

9am: Meeting with Russian lawyer Natalia Vestal Vessee Vetniko Meeting with Russian lawyer. Apparently has great dirt on Crooked Hillary. Love it! Can’t wait.

10am: Meeting with Mister X, man who emailed me about the photos of Hillary burning the Constitution and laughing. NOTE: remember to make Mister X’s check out to Cash as instructed.

11am: Meeting with Colonel Astrakhan von Fate, to discuss campaign contribution from his organisation, which he declines to name. Have asked Dad’s office to email me some information about nuclear power plants which the Colonel says is a bit of a hobby of his.

12pm: Lunch with Dad. He has promised that if he wins the election he will hug me. NOTE: remember to only order entrée size: Dad is not made of money.

2pm: Meeting with Prince Adewale. Could be a massive windfall for the campaign, as soon as I pay the administration fee to release the funds. Dad will be stoked when I tell him.

3pm: Meeting with representatives of Apple. Have not heard from them since I sent them my account details, username and password to ensure no interruption in service or apps, so I have asked them to come round to chat in person.

4pm: Meeting with Eric to shoot stray dogs outside office.

5pm: Bathtime.

5.30pm: Storytime.

5.45pm: Bed. 

Peter Fray

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