Crikey understands these tweets were obtained using incredibly sophisticated, investigative journalistic techniques*, the full explanation of which we won’t bore you here. Suffice to say, these are authentic tweets sitting in US President Donald Trump’s “drafts” folder and don’t worry about it:

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Here’s some others:

  • Why is Senate continuing to delay confirmation of new FBI director Tomi Lahren? Dems try to smear, but we WILL drain the swamp!

 

  • Had a very pleasant meeting with President Nieto. Showed him Electoral College map, he showed me map of Mexico. Lots of cake!

 

  • If Dems continue to drag feet on FBI confirmation, will sign executive order making Dems illegal. My agenda cannot be stopped!

 

  • Rumours saying I have ordered bombing of Belgium typical fake news. No mention in papers of my victory over Sen. Graham at Uno! Sad!

 

  • Director Lahren investigation found no evidence bombs on Brussels dropped by US forces. Time to end division and #MAGA!

 

  • Fake media claims “mistake”: actually our plan all along to bomb Belgium. Cannot tolerate Belgian provocations anymore. #draintheswamp

 

  • Very proud of my daughter Ivanka. Sen. Sanders tried to smear me by saying I have another daughter. Americans too smart for this!

 

  • Very proud of my daughter Tiffany who has just been appointed Sec of Defence.

 

  • No truth to reports my daughter Tiffany has invaded Iceland. Why media not report on building of wall?

 

  • Fake media claims I have not built wall. NOT TRUE. Wall is built, in storage in Trump Tower. Waiting to be transported.

 

  • Reports untrue that wall was accidentally built on Mexico’s southern border. President Nieto and I are best friends. Buy Trump steaks!

 

  • Huffpo lies: I know where EVERY nuclear warhead is, right now!

 

  • Maybe CNN should worry more about its low ratings and less about which city just got nuked or didn’t. Fake!

 

  • Fake news saying “World War 3” has started. Actual name “Trump War One”.

 

  • Great meeting with Mr Putin. Agreed that we can keep remains of Statue of Liberty.

 

  • Where is my ice-cream? #draintheswamp

*As practised by satirist Ben Pobjie

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Peter Fray
Peter Fray
Editor-in-chief of Crikey
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