In the wake of this week’s announcement the company will be slashing 125 editorial jobs, Fairfax has released* this statement to subscribers, assuring them that “quality journalism” won’t suffer as a result of the cuts:
Dear Fairfax Subscriber,
We’d like to take this opportunity to welcome you to the new-look Fairfax Media Group and unveil our brand-new, all-improved model for the future of modern media. As a valued Fairfax reader, you can look forward to enjoying exciting new features such as:
- The Daily All-Liftouts Liftout. Stay up to date on the latest products and services from Fairfax’s corporate partners with this innovative new approach to advertorial. Every day in The Age and Sydney Morning Herald, readers can enjoy sponsored content without the inconvenience of having to search for their favourite catalogue — every ad liftout will be combined into a single liftout of liftouts. Fifty advertising sections in one, to make navigating the modern world easier for YOU.
- Guess The Story. Under the new model, Fairfax will make online news more exciting and agile by implementing its Guess The Story system for headline generation. With this system in place, editors will ensure that no headline provides any clue as to the content of the story. Enjoy the thrill of cryptic clues like “You Won’t Believe How This Government Department Solved Its Problems With One Weird Trick”, and “This Man Held A Press Conference In Canberra. What Happened Next Will Shock You”. The wait for a story to load becomes an adventure!
- All Outrage, All The Time. Fairfax’s Opinion section has been restructured to better service today’s time-poor, entertainment-hungry readership. We promise the nation’s premier lineup of unreasonably angry columnists with poorer impulse control than any other media business in the country. Every day will provide eight more pages of non-stop apoplectic invective to get the blood pumping.
- Lifestyle Plus. An expansion of Fairfax’s Lifestyle sections will complement the All-Liftouts Liftout with long-read features on Great New Holiday Destinations On A Junior Executive’s Budget, Latest Trends In Activewear, How To Get The Most Out Of Your Thermomix, Hairstyles To Ask For A Raise With, Renovating Your Church The Paleo Way, and many more.
- Journo Corner. Informative new weekly column in which Fairfax’s resident journalist writes about the day-to-day escapades of life in the news trade. Learn all about what it’s really like to “follow a lead”, “get a scoop”, and “rewrite a press release”. There will also be one page every week dedicated to any stories that our journalist might come up with.
- Reader-Selected Front Pages. Every day, readers can SMS ($0.45 per msg) to vote for the front page they want to see published the following morning. A new frontier in interactive publishing.
- Streamlining of the Fairfax business model won’t mean any reduction in our world-class coverage of local and international sport — our new sports section will contain all the latest odds and special offers from every major bookmaker and, when space allows, scores.
- Autoplay videos. Don’t worry, we’ll still have them!
*Via satirist Ben Pobjie