The federal government has quietly confirmed* the new and improved lyrics for Advance Australia Fair  (now with 30% more patriotism!):

Australians all let us rejoice

For we are fairly free

With iron ore and working poor

Let’s repeal 18C

Our land abounds in nature strips

On which we leave our junk

With Footy Shows and four Daddos

Conservatism’s the new punk


Beneath our radiant Border Force

We’ll keep out foreign scum

Deciding every circumstance

Under which they can come

For those who’ve come across the seas

We’ve island jails to spare

Don’t cross the moat, we’ll stop your boat

We do it cos we care


Australian values that we have

Like mateship, God and sport

Democracy, and bad TV

And avoiding too much thought

Gambling until we’re poor

Breathing sweet coal-filled air

With homelessness and mortgage stress

Advance Australia Fair

*To satirist Ben Pobjie

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