Take a wrong turn down north Jakarta’s traffic-choked streets and not only will you be met by the antiquated charm of the street food "warung" and the beaming toothless smiles of vendors, but you could also stumble upon a myriad less pleasant hazards, including a restaurant with walls that wriggle.

In the Big Durian, it’s not the DIY pedestrian crossings, unapologetically ruthless go-jek drivers or mysterious Jakartan illness known as "masuk angin" that should worry you. The most dangerous thing in Jakarta is in a 40-year-old restaurant wedged between a derelict house and street food diner.