Mar 2, 2017

LEAKED: scripts for three other departmental recruitment ads

Who could resist working for Border Force and seeing this ad?

After the hilarious fallout from the Finance Department's woeful recruitment ad, Crikey has obtained* three other draft scripts for promotional ads for the departments of Immigration, Human Services and the Environment.


OPEN in a pleasant and airy open-plan office, filled with relaxed happy workers. Enter STEVE, a fulfilled and enthusiastic public servant. He approaches BARBARA, who loves her job and the people she works with.

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5 thoughts on “LEAKED: scripts for three other departmental recruitment ads

  1. David Irving (no relation)

    Very good.

  2. klewso

    Open :- Alice walking through a glade, comes upon George Brandis’ head on top of a wall …..
    “Mmmm that reminds me how hungry I am. I feel like a soft-boiled egg with soldiers.”
    “Imagine how I feel” says Numpty Dumpme.
    “I don’t recall ever hearing an egg speak” said Alice in shock at hearing an egg speak.
    “Careful; that’s my line” snapped Numpty.
    “But you must hear eggs speak all the time, in your sort of family” offered Alice trying not to offend his highness.
    “No I mean ‘I don’t recall'”, waffled Numpty.
    “How can you mean something you don’t recall?” Alice asks quite legitimately.
    “Are you after my job?” Numpty shot back.
    “Oh dear. I can see we’re not going to see eye to eye” said Alice almost to herself.
    “When I use a word,” Numpty Dumpme said, in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.”
    “The question is,” says Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.”
    “I’m Numpty Dumpme. The question is,” says Numpty, “which is to be master — that’s all.”
    “….. Is that a Bell tolling?” asks Alice.
    “Get me out of here!” shrieks Numpty.

    1. AR

      ..crack, hisssss, and all the rest was slurping.

    2. joann

      Wonderful- I hope someone makes it

  3. klewso

    And the DHS ad – is Tudge taking or giving a leak while he’s reciting these lines?

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