Old King Coal was a merry old soul
And a merry old soul was he
He called for more pipes, he mined the food bowl
And he bought up the National Partee!
Now every Nat was on the fiddle
Some a lot and some a little
And a fucked-up mess got we
Oh there’s no cheek so bare, none can compare
With King Coal and the National Partee!
Old King Coal was a merry old soul
And a merry old soul was he
He heard all the gripes and the greenie arseholes
So he called on his friend Barnaby
“Hey diddle diddle, get a lot for a little
I need me some gumment moneeee!”
No one else would dare, but they make a fine pair
Old King Coal and his friend Barnabee
Old Clean Coal was a merry old soul
And a merry old soul was he
He read the reports, and he had his retorts
And he called on his friend Malcolm T
“Renewables are cruel, they’ll wreck the price of fuel
So please kill Oz science for meeee!”
No one else is so weak, but it’s of Malcolm we speak
Old Clean Coal and his bitch Malcolm T
Old King Coal and his bitch Malcolm T!
— as told to Guy Rundle
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Peter Fray
Editor-in-chief of Crikey
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A catching ditty… & chillingly true.