Old King Coal, an Australian nursery rhyme

Old King Coal was a merry old soul

And a merry old soul was he

He called for more pipes, he mined the food bowl

And he bought up the National Partee!

Now every Nat was on the fiddle

Some a lot and some a little

And a fucked-up mess got we

Oh there’s no cheek so bare, none can compare

With King Coal and the National Partee!

 

Old King Coal was a merry old soul

And a merry old soul was he

He heard all the gripes and the greenie arseholes

So he called on his friend Barnaby

“Hey diddle diddle, get a lot for a little

I need me some gumment moneeee!”

No one else would dare, but they make a fine pair

Old King Coal and his friend Barnabee

 

Old Clean Coal was a merry old soul

And a merry old soul was he

He read the reports, and he had his retorts

And he called on his friend Malcolm T

“Renewables are cruel, they’ll wreck the price of fuel

So please kill Oz science for meeee!”

No one else is so weak, but it’s of Malcolm we speak

Old Clean Coal and his bitch Malcolm T

Old King Coal and his bitch Malcolm T!

— as told to Guy Rundle