There were several reasons I got the arse from my last gig at ABC Radio, the most unassailable being sloppy conduct in the station kitchenette. But I suspect the real cause for this “managed departure” went unspoken. By the end of last decade, I had lost all talent for that game played at all times in traditional media outlets everywhere: I Understand Real People Better Than You.

I am not Real People. I am a socially inept oddball, which is why I, and why everyone, elected to work in media in the first place, a trade where oddness is both anticipated and requisite. I do not now, nor have I ever understood Real People. This is due not just to my oddness, but to a belief that Real People is not a real category. Real People does not represent an actual civic will, but the guilty unconscious of a privileged labour class that knows it is serving up gobshite to a favoured demographic. There’s nothing Real about brand management.