For fans of the 10 AFL teams that failed to make it to the finals, it is time to look ahead to cricket season and dream of 2017, where the early draft picks will improve their finals hopes. One fan took the final result of the year to a new level, calling sports talkback radio station SEN to pour his heart out following Richmond’s 113-point loss to Sydney. “Mario from Doncaster” started with a story about former US President John F Kennedy’s wife, Jackie (and yes, this relates to Richmond).

You can listen to the call here.

“Guys, when President Kennedy was assassinated, (wife) Jackie’s famous pink dress — the Chanel dress — was covered in blood and she refused to take if off that day because she wanted America to see what they had done to her husband in Dallas,” the caller, whom SEN’s Twitter account describes as a regular, said. How do you get from this to Richmond? Mario from Doncaster can get there, comparing his Richmond guernsey to the pink dress.

“Now when Richmond was down by 130 points — no listen — I vomited all over myself, and I haven’t taken it off.”

Hosts Daniel Harford and Mark Allen didn’t recognise the true tragedy of Richmond once again failing to make the finals, or even ninth position on the ladder, laughing while Mario seemed to break down in tears.

“I was walking around the petrol station, I slept in it — no listen, listen, listen — I walked around all day, I wanted everyone to see — stop it — I wanted everyone to see what Richmond had done to me.”

Only in Melbourne? Maybe.

mario from doncaster