Over the weekend the election campaign reached the halfway point (at about 3.30am on Sunday morning, according to an email from Labor’s campaign director, George Wright). Yes, we’re halfway there (and yes, livin’ on a prayer), which means that it is time to do some in-depth investigation into which candidates across the country have the best names. First up, Labor’s Zac Beers (candidate for Flynn in Queensland) has the best bid for name-related merchandise. Labor’s Jane Austin wins the most literary name; we hope that she campaigns in Denison on truths universally acknowledged. As Barnaby Joyce and Tony Windsor fight it out in New England, it is unclear if pollsters have measured the possibility of the Greens candidate pulling in a higher vote just on the back of his glorious name — Mercurius Goldstein. Ms Tips’ favourite name so far belongs to the Science Party’s candidate in the seat of Grayndler; inner-Sydney voters will receive ballot papers featuring the name of Meow-Ludo Meow Meow, which is actually his real name (a tribute to the 2001 movie Super Troopers) although his parents chose the more prosaic Stuart McKellar. Seen a candidate with an excellent name? Drop us a line.

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