We are going to an election in almost three months. The official campaign period will be stretched to a gruelling seven weeks, but let’s be honest, it’s started already. But how to survive 10 weeks of this nonsense? Don’t worry, Crikey has you covered …

1. Feel the strong urge to sleep through the whole thing? Why not become the leader of the ALP?

2. Play talking points bingo. It was “continuity and change”. Then it was “ASIC is a tough cop on the beat”. Then it was lawlessness in the CFMEU. Today the government is all about action, to counter the (well-founded) view that Turnbull dithers. The major parties will all have their talking points each day, so turn ’em into a game of bingo to keep yourself awake. NB: this will probably turn into a drinking game by early June …

3. Send Man with a Van moving leaflets to Barnaby Joyce’s parliamentary office. He is going to need them.

4. Read Battlelines again, to see where we all went wrong.

5. Just be glad you don’t live in the United States. Hillary Clinton declared her candidacy for this November’s election on April 12 of last year. Donald Trump announced in June. And there’s still so long to go …

Peter Fray

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