In an uncertain world there are few things to rely on these days: new terror laws are always in the offing, Melbourne property prices always had their best weekend ever, and a second Sydney airport is the project of the future, and always will be. And the greatest of the eternal verities, that Canada is boring.
Our frozen cousins in the northern hemisphere have been the standard calibration for boring for as long as we remember. Other cliches about them do not stand up: anyone who thinks Canadians are nice, polite types has never watched an ice-hockey match, a game played on a prepared surface called blood. Anyone who thinks they are cheery souls has never listened to Leonard Cohen, or if they have and still think that they should seek help immediately. Anyone who thinks there is no Canadian cuisine should, well, um, you’re right there, the food sucks. And the wider culture is one of tedious reasonableness by which we approve of our own dynamism.
But Canada has now bucked that trend by conducting another in a series of exciting elections, with Justin Trudeau, poised to become the country’s youngest PM, as head of the Liberal Party (his mother would be proud — if she hadn’t been too busy on rhythm guitar duties for the Rolling Stones to pay attention to the contest). The election was a white-knuckle three-party contest with the lead changing three times.
That is all very well, but let us remind the reader that this is Canada. When it becomes interesting the rest of us — caught in the torpid competence of the Turnbull era — look bad. So we at Crikey say: stop being interesting, Canada! Be boring! Stick to what you know! To which we expect those gentle people will say: “We will — if it’s all right with the rest of you.”