Well, if you're reading Crikey, chances are you're a political tragic of the highest order, and most likely have one of those jobs where people don't really notice if you've turned up or not. So you'll be able to watch the UK election from soup to nuts (UKIP). Polls close at 10pm in the UK, 7am Australian Eastern Time. Nor is there any lightning result: the count goes through to 4am and beyond, so noon-1pm. By then, barring a result way contrary to the polls, we still may not know the story, with disputed results, recounts, postal votes and the collection of ballot boxes in remote Scottish seats.