Strewth hits back

James Jeffrey, Strewth columnist, writes: Re. "Strewth never forgets" (Wednesday). My dear hearts, contrary to your assertion yesterday, I did not flog you with a wet lettuce (a delightfully un-hipsterish early 1990s expression, courtesy of Paul Keating). I very clearly flogged with you an artichoke. And I'm still not sure why you were scratching your heads over which vampire story of yours I was talking about, given that I provided you with the headline. I can only put your confusion down to either a) a continued state of grief about losing First Dog on the Moon, or b) the shock realisation yesterday that, in the process of writing about soccer and the World Cup, Bernard Keane had apparently morphed into Ann Coulter. No wonder you poor buggers are addled.