Jan 29, 2014

Media briefs: Planet Janet speaks … People axed … dancing cop …

Neocon Janet Albrechtsen has helpfully drafted President Barack Obama's state of the union speech for him -- by telling him to do exactly what he's doing. Plus other media tidbits.

Janet knows best. There is no op-ed style more risky than the drafted speech, wherein the hack advises the great and good what to say to calm the ravening masses. It tends to work when the purported speech-giver is so addled that almost anything would be better than what he or she is doing — i.e. it almost always works for the ALP — and the greater the distance between supplier and recipient, the more mawkish it seems. Witness Planet Janet Albrechtsen’s words of advice to President Barack Obama. Planet suggests that Obama should stay out of the Syrian civil war and let the Arabs sort their own problems out, rather than pursuing his current strategy of staying out of the Syrian civil war and letting the Arabs sort their own problems out.

Janet Albrechtsen

For sheer Australian Idol levels of cringe, you can’t go past a neocon hawk giving handy hints to someone who has steered the country clear of an Iraq-style disaster by ignoring everything the neocons thought and did. Add in an asinine misunderstanding of the conflict (Sunni-Shia rivalries ancient as the moon rising over the camel-trodden dunes sort of thing) and you have the perfect know-nothing op-ed. The purpose is, as always, a retrospective justification of the disaster of Iraq. Planet paints it as a triumph and a liberation and rolls Afghanistan and Libya in with it. That’s a different strategy to the usual hard-Right take on Libya — for a while the Bolter and others were singing from the same hymn sheet as John Pilger and others as to how the toppling of Gaddafi had revived anti-black racism in the country.

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13 thoughts on “Media briefs: Planet Janet speaks … People axed … dancing cop …

  1. klewso

    Planet Janet’s out of her tree, because Obama chose not to screw up a war like the Bush-Blair-Howard-Murdoch(PR) “Coalition of the Shilling” did Iraq?
    And thinks she can tell elected leaders what to do just because Rupert does?

  2. extra

    The good thing about telling someone to do what they are already doing is that a couple of opinion pieces down the line, you can claim credit for persuading them to do it.

    Startrek fans will be familiar with the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition. I suspect that Murdoch journos have a similar set of guidelines, that include something like ‘advise a powerful figure to do what they are already doing- then claim credit’ Two articles for negligible effort!!

  3. John Crowe

    Janet German-Name makes me want to empty the contents of my stomach. The arrogance and presumption of the troglodyte is amazing. JC

  4. Richard

    oh planet, you laughable lightweight hack.

  5. Dogs breakfast

    Being otherwise busy with family and a job that doesn’t allow time to read Janet and other neocons, it’s a boon to have someone as erudite and incisive as GR to nail them.

    Their hypocrisy knows no bounds. For some reason the phrase ‘the banality of evil’ is popping into my head.

  6. Electric Lardyland

    Yes, the strange fantasy world of the rightard opinionista. It seems that by ignoring all the comprehensive evidence, that the invasion of Iraq was one of the great foreign policy disasters of all time, it seems that ten years of almost constant bloodshed, can be converted to a shining light on the hill, for every one of the vaguely Middle Eastern rebellions that meets their approval. Strangely, not the rebellions that supply leadership that’s a bit too Islamic, nor the ones that end up with a military coup, or the ones that involve years of increasingly grim, anarchic violence; but, you know, the nice ones that comfortably support the rightard view of the world.
    Of course, just how the bloody chaos of recent Iraqi history, acts as an inspiration to anyone, is never actually explained.
    Oh well, perhaps we can all chip in and send Janet on a nice expenses paid holiday to Baghdad. A year or two might even start to make a dent on the psyche.

  7. AR

    LeccyLardy – I’ll contribute to Planet’s ticket to the ME (anywhere is OK) as long as it is a ONE WAY ticket.

  8. Electric Lardyland

    Hmmm, maybe we should start our own charity; on behalf of the millions of Australians, who for years have suffered the views of Albrechtsen, Bolt, Jones, Akerman, etc, etc, etc.
    Ozscram? Planet Reality? Scare Australia? Chroniqueuers Sans Passeport?

  9. DiddyWrote

    You are all so cruel to the delightful Janet. She isn’t just an opinionated blowhard she is an actual investigative journalist.
    I have always loved when she returns from one of her numerous overseas trips. She is able to explain the political and social concerns in these countries by use of her rigorous investigative technique, which consists of talking to the taxi driver on her journey from the airport to her hotel.
    Its quite amazing what she learns.

  10. klewso

    “Flossy” Albrechtsen?

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