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Feb 12, 2013



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44 thoughts on “Take this job and shove it!

  1. zut alors

    His checklist aside, in one respect you’ve can feel sorry for the old bloke – in today’s media photos he looks bvggered.

  2. Holden Back

    Top three reasons:

    “Spending more time with his family”
    “Always wanted to release an album”
    “Discovered i have real talent for shoe design”

  3. Andybob

    Lets put it down to artistic differences.

    Will our George throw his hat into the ring ?

  4. Andybob

    George seems something of an outsider at 50/1 but not as scrubby as Dawkins at 666/1.


    Oullet has firmed to 7/2 with early favourite Turkson blowing out a bit to 3/1.

  5. PkD

    I look forward to Gerard Henderson/Nancy ripping this leftist anti-catholic tripe to bits in the other media canine powerhouse, Media Watch Dog, the inaccuracies will be inspire reams of correspondence and hopefully a conniption. Excellent.

  6. Tim Niven

    Retired to dedicate himself fulltime to his new franchise of Childcare Centres.

  7. paddy

    Divine work FD.
    Canonisation can only be a heartbeat away.

    Just imagine it….. A Walkley AND a sainthood!

    Next thing you know, there’ll be divine intervention
    leading to Western Bulldogs premiership.

  8. klewso

    He’s not going to open a fast food takeaway in downtown Ravi Dass – selling Rat Zingers?

  9. Plonkoclock

    PENANCE enhancing drugs!! And all this time I thought it was post-c0ital triste!!!

  10. rubiginosa

    “Did you know condoms make AIDS worse?”

    “Is the Space Pope a reptilian?”

  11. klewso

    “Position Vacant”?
    How does Pope Dany-Nalliah sound – cuts out the middle man too?
    Monckton could be a cherub….. or an alter buoy?

  12. Plonkoclock

    Pfizer has a lot to answer for, is all I can say.

  13. ernmalleyscat

    Thanks for that First dog. Without this sort of thorough examination of history I’d only heard about the John Pauls and the Innocents and the Gregs, but I’m seriously thinking of converting now that I know there’s been a Pope Jaidyn and a Pope Vicious
    I’m considering throwing my Tiara into the ring for the selection, but when I am Pope EMC The First I will remain humble.

  14. Holden Back

    @klewso “No previous experience necessary”

    There really was a time when any layman could be made a bishop (and theoretically Pope) by acclamation. Pastor Nalliah’s problem in getting the job is that he’s a heretic.

  15. Venise Alstergren

    I thought Benedict XVI was the first Pope. If he isn’t, his beliefs and the institution he works for are of that era.

    ZUT: I’m told he’s a heavy smoker. If so, he’s a fool and not worth your pity.

  16. drmick

    Abbott, Pope, Cardinal, doesn’t matter really as long as he gets nun in September.
    Tone and the ugly club that make up the affront bench already shower with their speedos on as they hate looking down on the unemployed. Looks like they will all have an extra nut to play with

  17. zut alors

    EMC, aside from the inconvenience of being surrounded by adoring g0d botherers it’s not a bad gig: you get a company vehicle thrown in, a helicopter and even your own papal farm for those weekends away. Plus fawning blokes in frocks attending to your every whim.

    Best of all, you get to be infallible. Just like my mother.

  18. Venise Alstergren


    Monckton looks like Torquemada, IMHO.

  19. ernmalleyscat

    Thank you Zut for your advice. I appoint you Confessor.

  20. Venise Alstergren

    EMC: EMCI has a certain ring to it; quite classy.

  21. Plonkoclock

    .. and now he retires to a convent?? What, won’t the bothers have him in their monastery?

  22. klewso

    Venice, Abbott is Torquemada.
    You might be thinking of Quasimodo?

  23. drovers cat

    EMC they’ve knocked back a bunny so I don’t fancy your chances as a cat

  24. drovers cat

    btw anyone got a recipe for tea stuck in the rear nasal passage? It happened following reading about Pope Vicious

  25. zut alors

    drovers, a friend of mine went to school with his twin brother Sid who was the more musical of the two.

  26. klewso

    Sorry Venise – besides for calling you Venice – I meant “Quasi Intellectual”.
    Quasimodo is “having a resemblance to a man” of course.

  27. klewso

    Didn’t Sid got stuff stuck up the back of his nose too?

  28. AR

    I doubt Greg XII went out for cigs before his arboreal enarmourment in 1415, being as how CC didn’t sail t’ocean blue to the pay de tabac for another 77 years, and the potato chappie even later.
    However I can quite believe he went out for fags and, after all, an avocado is a kinda-sorta substitute.

  29. Venise Alstergren

    KLEWSO: Absolutely agree with you re Abbott being Torquemada. BUT, to refresh my memory I looked up Torque in Wikipedia only to find that Monckton and Torque have a remarkably similar profile. So then I thought of the medieval Italian version-whose name temporarily escapes me-and thought to pair him with the vile Tony Abbott.

    Sorry for the lengthy explanation….

  30. Shaniq'ua Shardonn'ay

    EMC, and those lovely vintage frocks you will get to wear as pope! Then again “Pope Shaniq’ua” does sound marvellous.

  31. Venise Alstergren

    PS: Quasimodo is a wonderful name. Half-made by name and by nature.

  32. Venise Alstergren

    KLEWSO: Savonarola, Girolamo: 15th Century; Florence; Puritan; if poss, worse than Torquemada. Met with entirely apposite fate.

  33. GF50

    Good one dog 🙂 all comments +++ love your work! Now I have half a soy latte stuck up the back of the nose!!

  34. klewso

    Look at the power the original “Torquey” had – “It’s cold in here! Throw another heretic on the fire, Love.”

  35. klewso

    Poor battered Savonarola – too often what you get for trying to be Papal party pooper?

  36. Cleaner

    That Pope from 1032 isn’t called Sid by any chance.

    Never mind that they don’t have bollocks

  37. Andrew L

    Quelle surprise! I thought they generally poisoned them when they were over the use-by date…

  38. SBH

    so he’s given up being pope for Lent?

  39. Holden Back

    @klewso, Do I detect a Roy & HG motif?

    @Cleaner, Not so, they even have a chair in which to check to make sure they DO have bollocks.

    Clementine V got immured – walled up in some warlord’s castle – as his retirement present.

  40. Venise Alstergren

    KLEWSO: Have another sav.

    HOLDEN: It’s a grisly thought, isn’t it? The thought of having to look at an eighty year old man’s virgin bollocks doth render me nauseous. One lump or two?

  41. Holden Back

    Venise- Ratzinger was only 77 at the time: they counted the rings.

  42. JasEH

    Missed opportunity? Real papal monikers better than His Dogginess’ made-up ones. #1: Pope Hilarius (461-468).

  43. Sandshoe

    Simpson Pope has a ring to it by association doesn’t it. It’s all spin this media attention to who else and why. Walk off the job for the love of Christ. Phhhtt.

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