Jan 17, 2013

People will say at least Lance had the ball to come clean

Lance Armstrong worked from the crisis management playbook in his tell-all confessional with Oprah. Marketing consultant Toby Ralph lights the path to contrition and forgiveness for the fallen hero.

Let’s assume he did it. He rammed his bloodstream full of performance enhancing drugs and roared to victory in the Tour de France seven times. He trousered $100 million, survived cancer and in the process became a humble uni-testicled hero to an even larger number.

Then he was denounced as the greatest drug pedaller of our age.

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29 thoughts on “People will say at least Lance had the ball to come clean

  1. burninglog

    terrible article

  2. Michael

    Excellent article Toby. A rarity in this god forsaken site.

  3. Bill Hilliger

    Lance came clean after he was rumbled. No balls required as there was no escape from his accusers. He did deny everyone who came second the chance to come first. Best thing Lance can do now is to find god and wrap himself in the national flag; thats what scoundrels of his ilk do.

  4. paddy

    WTF!!! Sheesh Crikey! I know it’s the silly season and half the A team are still on holidays……But publishing this sort of facile rubbish will do your reputation no good at all.

    If you’re *that* short of material, give us some lolcats.
    They’d be way better than this dross.

  5. The Pav

    Poor taste pun and as to the rest of it

    Frankly my dear I don’t give a damn

  6. Mark Duffett

    “drug pedaller” “boil has been lanced” “public needling” as well “as the ball to come clean”…nicely done sir! I liked the way you spoke, I’ll never tyre of it.

  7. Nigel Vertigan

    “Let’s leave the ethics to priests and social workers”

    Terrible article, indeed! Hard to know who to find more repugnant – Lance Armstrong or Toby Ralph. Both seem to unreservedly embrace crass amorality…..

  8. FarQU

    Bullshit artists like yourself might say that Toby, at the end of the day he’s just a fraud.

  9. zut alors

    I’m with Nigel @2.06pm.

    Is it true that until the end of January Crikey is being edited by work experience staff?

  10. Run Gumby

    I’m with Nigel.
    Next time we see BAT or Libs in crisis management do we assume you are recommending they “leave the ethics to priests and social workers”.

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