Welcome to the glorious year of 2013 — undoubtedly yet another year of sunshine and plenty from our dear leader Julia Gillard and her hard-working and ethical colleagues at the Australian Communist Labor Party!
Crikey is looking forward to bringing you another 12 months of good news on the hard work of our treasured government. It may be that we are treated to a federal election later this year. While the writers of this editorial are not so big on elections, should one be decided upon (and we would never challenge a decision by our dear leader), rest assured we will tell you who to vote for.
With economic growth likely to reach 8% this year (on our own figures which you need not trouble about the details of), zero unemployment and plenty of bread for those yet-to-be-rich people, Australia has a wonderful year ahead of it.
The writer of this editorial is not the usual author; the government felt it would be a more pleasant and positive experience for readers if a public propaganda official took on the task. You can see where the government got this good idea from in the story by Kway Teow, writing about China in Crikey today.
In China — Australia’s largest trading partner — the country which will become the largest economy in the world. This is reality. This is government. This is freedom. And this is 2013.