Yes, it’s here at last. The Christmas Power List. Everyone will be talking about it at the water cooler this week. So you need to know who’s in and who’s out …
No. 1: Santa Claus
Santa’s even older than Bert Newton but he’s still powering on, and he’s No. 1 on our list. We’ll have a full profile tomorrow, with Santa’s Seven Secrets of Success. But suffice to say he’s absolutely flying into the digital age. Dare we say he’s sleighing them? He has his own Facebook and Twitter pages, and you can now buy a Santa iPhone app to keep those naughty kids in order.
No. 2: Apple Inc
Almost certain to take the top spot next year, and unlucky to be edged out by Santa, who they’ve hired to advertise Siri and their Iphone 4S. Does anyone want anything else for Christmas, apart from that or an iPad 2? Well, yes: seems everyone wants to download apps and songs. One billion iPhone apps are now downloaded every month and 1 billion songs from iTunes every three months.
No. 3: Three Wise Men
Gee, these guys have done well to be still going strong after 2000 years. But it just shows what new blood can do. Caspar, Melchior and Balthazar were looking tired, jaded and out of date, but the new trio has changed all that. Andrew Bolt and Kyle Sandilands may be a bit short on the “W” factor, but they sure know about stardom. And Cardinal Pell has been God’s messenger on global warming, telling us, “There’s no need to worry”. Wow, what a relief!
No. 4: The Queen’s Message
The Queen’s Christmas Day broadcast will turn 80 next year, and Liz will have done 60 of them. Yet we still want to know what “my husband and I” have to say. When granddad George V started it all in 1932, you had to tune in to the BBC’s Empire Radio service. Now you can get it on TV and the internet all over the world. This year they’ve let the riff-raff at BSkyB produce it. But ratings could set new records, because there are rumours it will bring us private pics of Kate and Will’s wedding.
No. 5: Scrooge
Sad to say, Scrooge is on the list as always This year, the ABC’s Mark Scott and Seven’s David Leckie share the role: they’ve both cancelled their network’s Christmas party. A special mention, too, for Chris Corrigan, for locking out those wonderful wharfies. How could he?
No. 6: Jingle Bells
Jingle Bells has just been voted Australia’s favourite Christmas song, with the awful Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer second. Which just goes to show Hal Mencken was right when he said no one ever went bust by underestimating the public taste. Personally, The Power Index likes the Aussie version: “Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Christmas time is beaut, oh what fun it is to rise in a rusty Holden ute.” But you can check out another 34 of them here.
No. 7: Gold
Still favoured as a Christmas gift, even though frankincense and myrrh are sooo out of fashion that no one knows what they are anymore. And the gold price is powering upwards, thanks to that pesky GFC. If you got it for Christmas in 2007 you’ve more than doubled your money.