You and me
Sitting in a tree
— Everything I Wanna Do, Nickelback
Welcome to Nickelback world.
An amalgamation of lyrics from songs on the Canadian rockers’ seventh album Here And Now gives a good idea of their ongoing appeal to fans.
Grab a Jim Beam, JD, whatever you need. I love the whisky, let’s drink that shit ‘til it’s dry. I’m in a bar full of bikers and a handful of junkies. Anyone drinking here is lucky to leave here alive. There’s other places that are better to go but I’m addicted to the Red Light show. Cut to the front of the line. My Midnight Queen is going to lick my pistol clean. She’s got a dirty mouth. She’ll do any naughty thing I want. If it was on TV, or ever in a magazine she could take the fantasy and make it a reality. Hell can’t handle all of us. Drinkin’ every drop until it all runs out.
It’s a misogynistic schoolboy fantasy view of the world and – while this can sometimes amuse – what’s irritating about Nickelback is the lack of any sense of humour or self-awareness. Singer Chad Kroeger is 37 years old. It’s Spinal Tap’s Lick My Love Pump without the laughs.
But this is almost preferable to Nickelback pretending to have a social conscience on lead single When We Stand Together that notes “There’s bullets flying through the air…we watch it happen over there and then just turn it off”.
Damn right, Nickelback. As Here And Now makes abundantly clear elsewhere, we got drinking (pretty much everywhere), fighting (This Means War notes an opponent “brought a knife to an all-out gun fight) and fucking (sitting in a tree on Everything I Wanna Do) to be getting on with. Don’t let any of those pesky foreign wars sully the good times.
When We Stand Together is a peace anthem that –- like The Scorpions 1990 opus Winds Of Change – makes many listeners want to kill everyone responsible for its existence.
It’s depressing to listen to this album and immediately pick out the songs that will be stinking up the airwaves for the next year or so.
Lullaby’s plea for a suicidal lover (wonder why?) to give it one more try since “there’s no need to go and blow the candle out/because you’re not done, you’re far too young/and the best is yet to come” is certain to be popular and the closing Don’t Ever Let It End will be soundtracking many a feral wedding in future with its sweet heartfelt declaration that “I know you feel the same way ‘cos you told me drunk on your birthday”.
Nickelback have sold 50 million albums worldwide. This will undoubtedly sell a few million more.
earworms: You’ll find out soon enough