“Roll up, roll up, here’s Barnaby’s Doom ‘n’ Gloom Circus of Ruin, sinkin’ whole townships into oblivion as the carbon tax rains its poisonous poison carbon tax rain down upon the simple folk of the hillocks and darlin’ hearts of the downs. Bye bye Australia, bye bye Newcastle, every time you turn a power point on, you’ll all be eaten alive by zombie carbon monsters springing from dishwashers across the nation …”

Well put, reader Ross Sharp. Barnaby couldn’t have put it better himself.

With Opposition Leader Tony Abbott en route OS, it was the National’s Barnaby Joyce who stepped in to fill the media tart’s shoes to suck up every available coalition sound bite on the passing of the government’s clean energy bills through the Senate this week. And what sound bites they were … nuanced, calculated and completely reasonable.

“You believe they should have green jobs. We’ll just send them back to university, they can all do arts degrees … and they can pontificate about duck ponds, and about windmills, and they can open up wind chime factories at Nimbin …”

But really, you can’t capture the full effect of Joyce’s critical analysis of this all important legislation without reading the full transcript of the doorstop that he held immediately after the bills were given the green light.

Choice Joyce quotes included:

“We have found today that the reason that Greens are in such a bunrush is that they have to go up to Durban and meet up with Leonardo Di Caprio, Angelina Jolie, and Bono from U2, and Arnold Schwarzenegger.”

“… This is a broad-based consumption tax, an attack on every household via every powerpoint in their house. It does nothing to change the temperature of the globe but opens every household up to its complete avenue via the powerlines to the Australian Taxation Office. At the Australian Taxation Office they will get that money, they will churn it, they will burn it, they will blow it up but they will not change the temperature of the globe.”

“… So we will use every sinew of our body to try and make sure that what we do for our nation is the responsible thing. That is to get rid of this tax because it is not going to affect the climate it is just going to make people poorer.”

Of course, there was an added bonus to this genius media strategy — as @grogsgamut tweeted:

I like how Barnaby’s face blends in with the seats behind him #senate

See how Barnaby’s tinge of red blends perfectly with the mahogany-hued  benches?

Barnaby Joyce — wordsmith, visionary, economic egg head, chameleon.

Peter Fray

Help us keep up the fight

Get Crikey for just $1 a week and support our journalists’ important work of uncovering the hypocrisies that infest our corridors of power.

If you haven’t joined us yet, subscribe today and get your first 12 weeks for $12.

Cancel anytime.

Peter Fray
Editor-in-chief of Crikey

JOIN NOW