Did you hear? Prince William and Kate Middleton are getting married! As a proud member of the Commonwealth, it in this author’s opinion that our little old Antipodean outpost should do everything in our power to be embarrassingly sycophantic in the rush to praise our Royal overlords.

Luckily for me, it appears Australia’s newspapers agree…

Pimp my honeymoon. Hey Willie! [insert name of place of newspaper publication] is the best place to honeymoon eva!

So says the Geelong Advertiser

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And the NT News



And the Gold Coast Bulletin


Pass me the Royal spittoon for one may be sick… but for straight out WTF, you can’t be serious, get a room Royal reporting, I tip my busby to today’s Adelaide Advertiser editorial. That’s right, the editorial…


Sadly, on the opposite page of this worthy tome, Advertiser readers appear to be at odds with the newspaper…


A Royal metaphor too far… expect sales of 3D televisions to skyrocket, courtesy of today’s Daily Telegraph editorial…


The wedding dress. Don’t worry Katie, the Cairns Post may have already picked out your dress…


However, the award for the story for the most tedious link to the Royal Engagement goes to ….who else .. the NT News


Yes, this is actually a story in a newspaper:

HUMPTY Doo bloke Les Schultz would say, “G’day darlin”‘ and then treat the future Mrs Windsor, Princess Kate, well, like a princess.

Les has ideas for the wedding between Prince William Arthur Philip Louis of Wales and the chick named Kate.

He has a five-year-old tame buffalo cow name Beverley who he has promised to let his mate from Casino, NSW, Jimmy Roache marry. It’s a long story.

Les reckons the young couple should head out to his place and they can have a double wedding, next to the verandah by the pool. Just in case Beverley gets thirsty during the ceremony.

Although, as always, the UK tabloids do royalty best… Today’s Daily Star page three girl, “Kate”, has a striking resemblance to someone .. and.. well … you figure it out…