By now you’ll have been horrified to learn that Oprah Winfrey — along with 300 underprivileged, upper-middle-class, diamond-earring-bedecked, screaming American women — are set to rape and pillage our fair nation to shoot two special episodes entitled ‘Oprah’s Ultimate Australian Adventure’.

As part of the deal between Harpo (Oprah’s production empire), Tourism Australia, Qantas, RM Williams and — we’re hoping — the Big Banana, those iconic white sails soaring over Sydney Harbour will be whored out for the week to be badged as ‘the Oprah House’.

We knew that the NSW Labor government was desperate, but this may be going a bit far.

We’ve all heard of the Oprah Effect. It worked for Spanx, it worked for the Kindle, it made Jonathan Franzen a household name, even if he was an ungrateful git about it.

But are we the first continent to be endorsed by Oprah? Do we get a sticker? And, most importantly, can Oprah save the NSW government?