Our parents used to tell us we’d have nightmares if we watched scary TV straight before bed. If that’s so, clearly many Australians shouldn’t have been watching last night’s Q&A, which featured an appearance by influential independent MP Bob Katter, and much lively debate about the fact that two-and-a-half weeks after the federal election, Australia still does not have a government.
Maybe by the time you read this, Australia will finally have a government — the coterie of independent MPs that will decide the country’s future are set to announce who they’re supporting at a press conference today at 2pm.
“Gah, now I’m off to bed to dream about creepy disembodied Tony Abbott and Julia Gillard heads singing,” tweeted Helen last night from her Cast Iron Balcony.
And sure enough, this morning The Enthusiast noticed an intriguing Twitter trend: people reporting weird dreams about Australian politics.
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Perhaps it’s just an accumulation of fretfulness after so long without a government, because the dreams didn’t just happen overnight. Four days ago, Aya de Reina tweeted, “Had the weirdest dream last night about Tony Abbott attempting to murder me via lethal injection… =/”
The previous night held nightmares for Twitter user andrewk1986, who reported: “Had a dream last night that the three independents ripped off their masks to reveal Howard, Costello and Downer.”
Some Twitter users regard Tony Abbott as the chief bogeyman of their nightmares. Megan O tweeted: “Had a dream I woke up and Tony Abbott was PM. I really hope I’m not a prophet.”
Elanor McInerney added: “I just woke up from a bad dream in which the independents made Abbott PM. It was so real you guys.”
McInerney tells The Enthusiast: “My govt stress dream horrified me with nonsense, as in, I couldn’t understand the language being used by ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE. I just kept trying to communicate, mostly repeating ‘That’s not true’ and ‘you’re not making sense’. Katter, Abbott were on TV.”
Bob Katter also figured in Kirsty McKenzie’s dream. She told the ABC’s Annabel Crabb: “Last night I dreamt Katter came out & said ‘I’ll be supporting Bob Katter, dammit’!” Which sounds like something Katter would say.
Other Twitter users dreamed of Rob Oakeshott. “I dreamt last night that Rob Oakeshott had somehow ended up as prime minister,” tweeted Andrew. “Better than Bob Katter, I guess.”
Meanwhile, Kim Maskill “dreamt last night that Rob Oakeshott was my boyfriend”. Hubba hubba.
John Raptis also had a s-xy dream. Yesterday, he tweeted: “WTF! I dreamt I was having s-xual relations with Julia Gillard! 8|” Later, he added, “Oh I see Julia is tweeting. Wondering if I should tell her about my dream (!)”
But there were odder dreams, too. Boo Sesame recalled: “Dreamt I was housesitting for Julia Gillard. She had a very cute dog, I was concerned it’d run away cuz there was no fence! *stress*”
And Chloe Walker reports: “I dreamt that I was made PM through some quirk of the political structure. @prismatic7 was my deputy and we governed from a rickety tower.”
Stranger things have happened in politics.
Some Twitter users live in hope that an Inception-style subconscious heist can deliver Australia a government. DVDBits editor Richard Gray tweeted: “Quick! Hire Leo to implant the idea in Katter’s head to unabashedly support Greens. Wait, his dream would be scary.”
But conservative commentator Keegan Sard argued: “Windsor, Katter, Oakeshott wakeup! The only indi that’s living in a dream is Wilkie — There’s only one choice, an Abbott Govt!”
This item was originally published in The Enthusiast.